A lie on the part of a loved one is an unpleasant phenomenon, it is very difficult to endure. A person may lie for various reasons. Someone has been accustomed to lying since childhood, someone lies in a situation of confusion, and someone in order not to voice the bitter truth that exists.
Sometimes on your life path you can meet a person who has become a habit of lying. An example could be the following: a guy and a girl made an acquaintance, began to communicate, spend time together. They are firmly convinced that both do not have a soul mate. However, it is almost impossible to prove this at the beginning of communication. It seems extremely unethical for young people to check each other's documents, whether there is a marriage stamp in the passport. It becomes obvious that it is impossible to prove to each other the fact of non-marriage (absence of a wife).
Society, perhaps, is accustomed to the fact that men cheat more often than women. A guy can hide something unpleasant from a girl, keep silent, lie. However, there are also opposite situations when a girl lies to a guy. Lies on the part of a girl can be the most diverse, ranging from minor domestic problems to the fact that she is dating someone else. A variety of lies and methods of deception depends on the upbringing of the girl, on her inclination or inclination to lie, a lie to a young man can show the attitude of the chosen one towards him, etc.
Women's lies can be manifested in small things. At first glance, this is a harmless phenomenon. However, one should think about the fact that small disagreements can give rise to larger ones. If a girl is lying, deception can become a habit. A guy should openly declare to his lady "You're lying." Perhaps the chosen one is tormented by conscience and she admits that she is wrong.
Some women have a natural inclination to tell lies. Thus, the girl defends herself, tries to survive, assert herself and increase self-esteem. The nature of these women, as a rule, is unpredictable. They are used to feeling in control of the situation, this is helped by cunning, logic and confidence in their words. Such girls are used to living without missing out on anything. The situations they get into are extremely unpleasant, but they find ways out of them, they know how to justify themselves. For a guy who hopes for a serious, long and trusting relationship, at first it is not easy to recognize a deceitful selfish nature in his companion. After all, a girl can deceive and pretend to be decent so skillfully that it will be very difficult to notice and reveal lies. If the young man suspected his chosen one of lying, you should carefully look at her. It is not necessary to hack into her mail, read letters, sms, you need to try to catch a word, make the girl make a reservation or not find an answer. After all, she has, if the planned "remark" is ready, then only on one or two questions. The guy must show quick wit and resourcefulness in such a situation, choose the right argument, make the girl make a reservation. And then draw conclusions based on that.
Sometimes a woman can tell a lie just out of confusion. In the event that a man puts pressure on her, screams, groundlessly suspects of treason, and literally throws questions. In this case, the girl may be confused by excitement and accidentally say something that is not really there.
Life without lies in relationships is much more pleasant and easier. The conscience of lovers feels calm. The couple takes pride in being honest with each other. Young people also acquire spiritual harmony, mutual understanding, and love in this case grows and grows stronger.
Among the reasons due to which such an unpleasant masculine trait as a tendency to deceive often manifests itself is, originating in childhood. This is an ordinary desire to be loved and good for the person whose opinion is important. In childhood, such people are parents.
With the wrong reaction of adults to the unintentional actions of the child, to his mistakes or miscalculations, the little person experiences a real one. The disapproval of an adult at this age is perceived as a loss of love and literally a threat to one's own safety and life. After all, the elders are perceived by the baby primarily as defenders.
In order to regain the “lost” love of mother or father, the child has to come up with an excuse for his accidental mistake. This situation is familiar to many - children lie that a cat broke their favorite vase. In some cases, this saves the situation, and the anger of the parent falls on the other. In repetitive situations, children are getting better at lying in order to get their share of love from their parents. Boys, becoming adult men, continue to shift responsibility from themselves to people or circumstances and lie to loved ones.
In some situations, guys cheat to hide their problems from the girl. This behavior is based on a common stereotype that a man should be strong and not complain. Problems can also be hidden by insecure individuals who think that the recognition of their insolvency can change their attitude towards them.
If a guy constantly lies, telling supposedly true cases from his life, then this serves, rather, to attract female attention. Such lies do not carry a negative load. Munchausen's syndrome can manifest itself as an increase in one's own importance in the eyes of a loved one, but is often used by a man as a means or to cheer up a group of friends.
A wise woman who lives in every girl should be able to distinguish when a man is lying on trifles or for the sake of an excuse, and when his indifference is hidden behind deceit. The reaction to a man's lie in these cases should be different.
How can you tell if a person is cheating?
Most often, it is not so easy to expose a liar: he has vast experience behind him and he composes quite plausible stories. How to understand that a man is lying if he reports facts that could have taken place in reality?
Trying to justify himself in the eyes of the girl, the guy lies quite effectively. None of them will invent fables if you can refer to familiar phenomena (traffic jams, busy work, unexpected business trips, etc.). But sometimes a woman intuitively feels that a man is lying to her.
To confirm or refute your suspicions, you need to observe his behavior during the conversation. Most often, lying causes a number of involuntary actions:
- An attempt to deceive many people irritates the nerve endings. An external signal in this case is scratching the nose or chin, a desire to loosen a tie or collar.
- Male reluctance to look at the interlocutor can also indicate deception.
- Psychology is now available to everyone, and many are familiar with the ways to determine deception. Therefore, wide-open eyes, hands in pockets, and the desire to look very honestly into the eyes of a friend also often indicate a lie.
Any unusual behavior during a conversation, whether it is unusual fussiness, accelerated or slow speech, or other subtleties of communication that are not typical for your boyfriend, may be caused by a desire to hide something from your girlfriend.
What to do when they cheat?
Given the fact that now the most significant person for a guy is his girlfriend, you can understand why a man lies to a woman. Most often, he tries to support his own, wanting to look in the eyes of his beloved as a real representative of the stronger sex. Neurotic complexes make him hide his mistakes or unseemly acts for fear of losing the favor of his woman.
When a girl thinks that her partner is lying, she should pay attention to her own requirements for him:
- Perhaps she demonstrates to the guy her disgust for non-punctual people. A man involuntarily wants to make his lateness the result of insurmountable circumstances (traffic jams or an unscheduled meeting), so as not to experience negative emotions due to the disapproval of his beloved.
- If women's interests do not include beer with friends and football, then a rare girl does not show her man a negative attitude towards those who spend their free time in this way. But men's desires can be just that. And the guy knows in advance that his behavior will cause the girl’s negative emotions, which she will try to demonstrate to him, ruining her mood.
- Too independent and independent lady can make a man feel like a loser next to her. Then the insecure man deceives both her and himself, trying to look a little more successful, lucky, courageous person.
There are many such situations. If you are tormented by the question of why guys lie, then try not to express your rejection of his mistakes and failures. A loving person tends to forgive little things, even those that are not particularly pleasant. Forming a feeling of guilt in a loved one for being late or especially hobbies that do not suit a woman, one can only achieve a lie. This is self-defense that everyone uses. After all, you also sometimes lied to a strict boss, trying to justify your mistakes?
If a man lies on trifles, the best way out is to let him know that he is loved not for what perfectly matches the girl's needs. It is almost impossible to force a person to change his preferences and habits to please another. You should not use violence against a loved one - as he is.
The science of psychology also operates with such a term as projection. This means that we tend to attribute our behavior and reactions to others in a similar situation. When it seems to a girl that her man is constantly lying to her, this may also be a consequence of her own relationships with people. Think about whether you yourself often lie about trifles when communicating with others? Then, wondering if the guy is lying, you can make an unexpected conclusion: he is telling the honest truth, and the cat could actually break the vase. After all, in life there are many annoying cases that prevent people from realizing their plans.
When lies kill relationships
In about half of the cases, a man can deceive a woman, trying to hide from her something that can really destroy the relationship. This may be an accidental adultery or the presence of a child from another lady. A man has to pay alimony and visit the baby, for whom the father has completely natural feelings. If in this case the girl turned out to be unaware of what happened before or during the meeting, then there may be only 2 reasons for such a deception:
- the guy hides the presence of another woman, because he is afraid of losing his beloved;
- he does it because he is so comfortable.
The first case should evoke a natural response in the soul of a loving and wise woman: an accidental mistake happens to everyone. Loving your child is not a crime. To solve such problems, the advice of a psychologist, which you should contact in order to better understand yourself and your loved one, helps. Perhaps the guy does not understand the psychology of girls who, in order not to lose their new love, take an attempt to hide former connections for the existence of this connection at the present time.
But in another case, when it is reliably known that the connection continues, it is foolish to seek advice from psychologists. The inability to make a choice between 2 women, the use of each of them as a “fallback option”, or the unwillingness to take responsibility for creating a family should make the girl decide for herself whether she wants such a relationship.
When a couple is faced with constant lying to each other over small things or more serious things, it's worth looking into why partners do it. A calm and reasonable dialogue without making accusations can help even without other people's advice. People who love each other can understand and forgive the mistakes or failures of a partner.
If you lying girl
, Your girlfriend, your soulmate, whom you don’t want to lose and at the same time don’t want to be a naive, gullible donkey, and you don’t know what to do in the current situations
, then this article
what is needed. It will describe several standard motives for lying and answers to the question that arises"What to do?"
Let's start from the very beginning and ask a completely logical question, "Why are you lying?"
No, no, the question is not to ask a liar, but to yourself. First of all, you should ask yourself the question, "Why are you being treated so 'disrespectfully'?"
And so, there some typical motivations for lying.
People lie for...
- To avoid punishment.
- To get some benefit, which is otherwise very difficult to get.
- To protect another person from punishment.
- To defend against the threat of physical violence.
- To arouse the admiration of others.
- To avoid an awkward situation.
- To avoid shame.
- To protect privacy.
- To gain power over others by controlling incoming information.
- 1) Let's analyze the first motive. Your half is lying to you not because he wants to put himself in the best light, but because you are a tyrant and are capable of blowing up like Vesuvius for any, even the smallest fault, and burning everything that is within your sight radius, what is it all very simple. If you are being lied to precisely because they want escape punishment, try to become a little more restrained and more tolerant in conflict situations.
- 2) The second motive is more unpleasant than the first, but is more common. If you lie to get some benefit, then it’s worth considering, is it worth it to deal with such a person at all? After all, if she To you lying in order to get something, apparently she really needs it and you just don’t want to give it to her or you can’t. So, if they lie to you in order to get some kind of benefit that is otherwise difficult to get, either you are a miser and a miser, or they just want to "shoe" you
- 3) The third option of motivation is the most altruistic in my opinion. If your passion wants to protect someone - most likely she has a "big heart" or a very frail lover, it's up to you to think if there is an option to think about the second ... or are you not very good see what's going on around You.
- 4) The fourth option is a bit similar to the first, but has some additions. If you are so aggressive and bring the conflict to the point of assault, then you should think about your behavior, because will lie not only your chosen one, but all around and not only on a large scale.
- 5) If a girl lies to you to arouse admiration others, then in my personal experience, I advise you stop any communication with her and in no case do not think to start it again, after her "tearful scenes". This motive does not lead to good and is extremely problematic to eradicate.
- 6) The saddest motive for lies and deceit. In this case, if you suspect a lie, you should tell your passion that you, too, have repeatedly been in a similar situation and understand it perfectly. After which, in most cases, confession follows, and all further attempts at lying cease.
- 7) If a girl lies to you in order to avoid shame, then making her tell the truth will only work in the event of a threat of nuclear war and a global crisis, and that is not a fact. And the point here is not at all that she is lying to you, any person could be in this place and this lie is sometimes more dangerous than any other. debunking it is easy, but understanding the motives is sometimes harder than calculating the most complex chemical formula.
- 8) If a girl lied to protect her personal life, then the lie can be easily exposed by just telling some kind of "secret" and inspire a little more confidence in yourself. If this concerns the personal life of, say, a girlfriend or some friend (yes, there is friendship between different sexes and you can’t get away from it), then the secret (lie) will remain hidden, albeit obvious.
- 9) If a girl lies to you in order to gain power and control over the situation, then nothing can be done, or you should learn everything from other sources, or leave all attempts in this matter and find that girl who will not try to control and manipulate you, Otherwise, either laugh or don't whine.
Having outlined the nine main motives for lying, I hope the actions of the girls when lying will become more understandable to you and you will be able to better control the situation, or at least understand what exactly they are trying to deceive you and for what reason, in fact, this happens.
How to try to do so in order to find out when a girl lied to you will be described in an article called "My girlfriend is lying to me, what should I do? How to avoid lying"
P.S. If you have any additions to this article, please email me. [email protected] or skype ant.volkov marked "addition to the article" (and indicating a link to the article.)
How to understand that a girl is lying? Every guy would like to trust his girlfriend. But there's an old saying, trust but verify. There are also situations in life when it is difficult to trust a person and suspicions arise. Let's try to open this topic.
And so you need to understand that girls are born smarter than men. Therefore, it is easier for them to powder a man's brains and circle around his finger. You also need to understand that each person has his own life experience, his own character, his own views on a particular problem. For one girl, a lie is a common everyday matter, and for another girl, even the smallest lie is a strong blow. And so consider the main signs that the girl is lying, which can be seen with the naked eye.
The girl's tone of voice changes - this is noticeable and felt in communication. If this happened, then the girl is lying or simply nervous. This happens because the girl wants to calm herself, so as not to show that she is lying. But in doing so, she loses volume and tone of voice. Therefore, if you are attentive, you will certainly notice it.
The girl starts talking quickly or stutters - most likely the girl is simply nervous. But here the question arises: “is she nervous in this situation or is she trying to lie?”. Here you have to be careful. And if the girl answered an important question very quickly, then most likely she lied, because she wants to show that this topic is very simple for her. Even though you know it's not really true. Or the girl wants to get away from this topic.
The girl's eyes are running around - in any case, she is nervous. And again, it all depends on the situation. If you took her to some fancy restaurant or you surprised her, then you should not assume that she is lying. She's just as nervous as anyone else.
The girl makes sudden movements - often when a person is nervous and trying to remain calm, he begins not to follow his gestures. That is, when a person focuses on one thing and does not follow the other. For example, when a person loses one of his 6 senses, he develops more others. That is, when a girl thinks how to fool you, she does not follow the gestures.
My advice to you is to get to know your girlfriend more. And you will feel when something is wrong. You will see when you are being lied to. After all, when you know a person well, it is hard for him to hide his feelings and the truth from you. You also need to understand that there are people who lie all the time and even when they do not need to do it. And it’s hard to expose such people, because they are already used to doing this and behave absolutely calmly. There is also a category of people who deceive themselves. They believe in what they say so much that they themselves are sure that their lie is actually the truth. So comrades, be vigilant and you will be able to expose people who are lying.
It is impossible for every individual to live without communication. Even the most taciturn people feel the need for it.
If there is no one to express his thoughts, a person gradually becomes withdrawn, acquires some oddities.
Communication is vital. For example, lonely people sometimes do not care what information they receive from the interlocutor. Whether it's true or not, sometimes it doesn't matter. The main thing is to listen. Although it is unpleasant to realize that a person has been deceived.
Women are the most sophisticated in this sense. The frequency of deceit among them is much less than among men. If she has already decided to lie, then she has good reasons for this.
Why does a woman resort to deception?
There are several main motives for cheating, including even cheating:
Permanent limitation. In families where a woman, at the insistence of a man, does not work and is only engaged in housekeeping, this is most likely to occur with children. Often she is very limited in communication. It consists in throwing short phrases with neighbors, sellers in the store during shopping trips, children (if any).
As a rule, the husband, of course, forbids inviting girlfriends, and even more so somewhere with them to walk. Money is also given out. Such constant psychological pressure and total control greatly affects the state of balance within her.
How then does such a woman act? First of all, begins to invent stories to explain where the money was spent. After all, no one has canceled her right to want to be beautiful and buy cosmetics for this, new outfits, attend salon procedures.
The same applies to the reasons for leaving the house. She should at least occasionally communicate with like-minded people. For such seemingly harmless acts, the weaker sex resorts to lies. If a man finds out the truth, a scandal cannot be avoided.
Another group of reasons for deception:
- feeling of inner loneliness and emptiness. Often, because of this, even respected family women may set out to find someone who will become her not only a lover, but also a person who is able to listen and understand, give advice, help solve a number of problems;
- it is equally important for her to feel her importance, her willingness to sacrifice her interests to please her;
- often women go for treason, and then deceive when they want to do it in spite of their gentleman, who has already committed a betrayal. Of course, moral satisfaction cannot be achieved here, but self-esteem can be amused;
- a relationship or marriage has reached the point where spending time together is already a burden. In this case, the woman resorts to deceit so as not to burden herself with an unnecessary society. She finds an excuse to leave the house or invite someone. It happens that he takes risks, going for treason, and then tries to hide it.
There are enough reasons for female deception. How can she give herself away? What mistakes does it make?
Body language can't be fooled
The movements that characterize the lie are as follows:
- Periodic covering the mouth with a hand, scratching the nose. Women who are nervous, especially actively begin to fiddle with earrings in their ears, twist their hair around their fingers, and straighten their hair.
- The weaker sex, in order to get away from an unpleasant answer, prefers to urgently start rummaging around in her purse and frantically look for something. Most often - go to the toilet room.
- If she is very constrained, she tries once again not to move. Excessive tension may indicate a possible desire to hide something. To do this, you need to concentrate well and consider each spoken word. Gesticulation would be inappropriate here.
- Sometimes a change of support from one leg to another can give out a woman's obvious nervousness. This is one of the ways to divert the attention of the interlocutor.
- If a girl is very actively trying to shake off the alleged pile from her clothes, straighten her skirt or dress, you should be wary.
- To turn the conversation in a different direction, a woman may resort to a non-standard emotional reaction to what she hears: start laughing out loud where it is inappropriate or cry unexpectedly.
- If the interlocutor wants to catch the liar in a lie, during the conversation you can sharply ask a question relating to a completely different area. As a rule, she, speaking the truth, will be indignant at such a change in topic and will suggest returning to its discussion.
Otherwise, you can easily switch to a new conversation. So, she will be relieved that she no longer needs to be tense and think of something to lie about.
It is possible to confuse a liar and prevent her from continuing on an arbitrary topic if you start asking a series of questions and keep track of the amount of time she spent answering.
It will take a woman a few extra seconds to pass off a lie as a truly true statement. At the same time, you need to pay attention to the expression on her face. It should depict bewilderment and confusion.
They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. And it is true. A woman, like a man, when she lies, she tries not to look the interlocutor in the face. Most often, she looks away, looks down. Sometimes the eyes just run. At the same time, the woman tells something very emotionally, trying to convince the interlocutor that she is undeniably right.
There are cases when none of the above signs can be guaranteed to indicate a lie. Perhaps the person is simply very worried about the issue under discussion and this is the result of increased nervousness. Sometimes a liar is given out by several signs at once.
Every woman is an individual. Therefore, it is not always possible to compare her behavior with well-known criteria that expose lies. It is important to be able to observe, to develop sensitivity.
To learn this, you need to have a close relationship with her, delve into problems, constantly communicate. Also, expand your social circle. Then you can know for sure at the level of intuition when a woman is deceiving or speaking sincerely.
