Somewhere hearing the phrase "Swedish family", you rarely associate with traditional parents and a pair of blond children. Most often, this term is used as a description of several (usually three, but necessarily more than two) sexual partners living under one roof. So, what is this “Swedish family” in reality and where does this name come from?
Basic version
The liberation of the Swedes is known in many countries, and mainly due to the fact that they have introduced compulsory sex education in their schools since 1955. Nowhere in the world was this even in thought, when the inhabitants of northern Europe decided to teach their children the wisdom of carnal pleasures. Of course, you can never say, if you look at the modern Swedish family in reality, that it can cause such associations.
In Sweden, families traditionally consist of two different-sex parents and children, and such comparisons are even annoying to many, or at least
Guesses
In fact, the concept of "Swedish family" (which means it is known to almost everyone) has many variants of appearance. Among the guesses of ordinary people, the most common version is attributing lovers to the family, because often women who are dissatisfied with the financial situation of their official husband resort to financial assistance from another man. A similar situation can arise on the other hand, when a wealthy man is able to support several women and, in general, he uses it.
Most often, such situations arise among celebrities and lawful spouses are often aware of the love affairs of their "faithful".
Real option
In fact, the Swedish family cannot be said to be an unconventional or overly emancipated unit of society. The reason for the appearance of a new partner in the life of one of the spouses is a banal lack of money for legal divorce. The fact is that in Sweden this process is very expensive and most citizens simply do not marry or, if necessary, leave, remain married to one partner, and in fact cohabit with another.
In such situations, it is important for both parents to respect the rights of the child, so the children are not divided there, as is customary in our country, for example. The child lives alternately with each parent and they are all obliged to communicate well so as not to injure him. That is, a divorced Swedish family (what it really is now is clear) is forced to play the role of full-fledged parents and communicate well with the new family of each spouse. For many citizens, this is at least strange, which reinforces the rumors about the non-traditional nature of the Swedes.
The first representatives
The expression “Swedish family” dates back to the 70s, when the youth of this particular country began to oppose traditional families and openly cohabit with several sexual partners. Interestingly, by that time such "triangles" were not new, and the first officially registered case of such cohabitation occurred in Spain at the end of the 18th century.
At that time, this case was simply outrageous, because in a Catholic conservative country such behavior was unacceptable and all participants in the "triangle" could be executed if they were not the ruling dynasty. Yes, yes, the king and queen took into their arms the young guardsman, who was later awarded a bunch of titles. One of them was even invented especially for him - the Prince of the World. Apparently the prince had enough strength and imagination to please both spouses with his presence for such a long time.
Of course, the guardsman was not noticed in ties directly with the king, but the ruler himself spoke of him very tenderly and affectionately.
The appearance of the term in Russia
For the first time the concept of "Swedish family" in Russia was mentioned back in the 70s of the last century. It was then that foreign artists, films and magazines began to break into the vastness of the USSR, closed from the outside world. It was at that time in Sweden itself that the so-called communes were popular, consisting of several sexual partners of representatives of the "left" youth. At the same time, in the vastness of the Soviet state, magazines and films of free content were distributed, which strengthened the myth of the sexual emancipation of the Swedes and the ubiquity of such non-traditional families in Europe.
At that time, the artists who were popular at that time, who in their understanding were also representatives of the "Swedish family", were able to strengthen the association. Everyone already knew what it was, because they sang beautiful love songs and consisted of two loving married couples. Yes, everything is so, only these couples nevertheless changed partners once, so it is impossible to call them true conservatives.
Conclusion
Today, almost everyone knows the answer to the question of what a “Swedish family” is, only this information is based on stereotypes and associations of past years. Now the bulk of the inhabitants of this European country is no different from their conservative neighbors, and such communes are found in isolated cases. By the way, you can meet them today in almost every country.
The very concept of the "Swedish family" is a symbol of permissiveness not only in our country. In almost every state there is a certain expression that means inappropriate behavior with a reference to Sweden. So in Great Britain the cohabitation of several sexual partners (necessarily more than two) is called "Swedish sin", and such a family is perceived as a symbol of debauchery.
Olga, 27 years old, told how she lived in an apartment with two men, each of whom was her lover.
When I was 22, I got a new boyfriend. Let's call him T. He came to our city from another country to enter the medical school, but did not pass the competition due to poor knowledge of Russian and stayed for a year on preparatory courses.
From the very first acquaintance, T. behaved very modestly and was noticeably shy. He even blushed when he accidentally touched me. It all looked very funny. I don't think he really understood how handsome he was: blue eyes, long black eyelashes, a little dark skin. I told him that he looks more like an actor than a medical student, but he probably thought I was joking. Our dates were the most chaste. In my opinion, he kissed me only at the third meeting, and then on my initiative. I definitely wanted more. After about a month of our platonic relationship, I could not stand it and asked myself to go to his house.
It was in the winter, I was cold and directly offered to go to him. He denied, saying that he was not living alone, but I insisted, and we took a taxi. He rented a beautiful three-room apartment in a new building. Filmed not alone, but with a friend from his hometown - O. The friend was over 30, and he had lived in Russia for several years. T. introduced us to each other, and I immediately liked O. very much. He was very open and sociable, unlike the shy T. There was football on TV, they were showing some kind of match that they both wanted to watch, and I had to keep them company.
We drank beer and chatted about something. At some point, I felt O's hand on my thigh. He seemed to accidentally touch me, but did not withdraw his hand, but began to lightly stroke me. If we were alone at that moment, I would love to kiss him, but I came with T. and decided to kiss him. He was taken aback, but responded to my caresses. I kissed him over and over again, and O continued to stroke me unnoticed by T. This was the end of the "party". To my disappointment, T. did not invite me to stay with them, but called a taxi home. I do not know what exactly I expected, but clearly not such a denouement.
This experience of kissing in the presence of a third person haunted me. I thought about him over and over again. I wanted to repeat it. I also really wanted to be alone with O., but I was ashamed to admit this even to close friends who knew about our relationship with T.
The next time I went back to their home, T. and I finally broke our "vow of chastity" and had sex. It was not that bad, but clearly not great. While T. confessed that I was almost his first, I imagined in my fantasies how I would go into the kitchen in one T-shirt and meet O. I did not meet there. Although he knew that I stayed with them.
I spent the night in this apartment more and more often, and it began to seem to me that I had invented the story of football and secret caresses for myself, because O just greeted me and asked at the most if we needed something to buy for dinner.
They had a party at home one weekend. I drank too much and, when I ran into O. again, I dragged him into the bathroom. He closed the door and kissed me. We kissed for a long time, and I still remember how cool it was. I wanted him so badly that I agreed to his offer to come to them when T. was at school. In general, this is how O and I slept and started dating at T.'s back.
O. was superb in everything, but there was no need to expect romance from him. No tender words, confessions, compliments. Just sex, albeit very cool. T., on the contrary, inundated me with messages with poetry in English, constantly said how beautiful I am, how he loves me. I don't think he knew anything until one day he found O. and I kissing in the kitchen. He cried, asked me to confess whether his friend and I had something or not, and I told him almost everything. She announced that I like O. and I cannot choose one of them.
I expected him to get angry and send me to hell, but T. asked me not to leave him, said that he loved and wanted to be with me. I jokingly said: let's try to live together, so that it would be easier for me to decide. And he agreed! So I settled in their living room.
This whole situation worried me in a good way. I felt like a femme fatale, I wanted to try something new, and I was ready to experiment. Now I think that O. was not happy with my move, but then this thought did not occur to me.
We didn't have any rules or schedule of meetings. Everything happened naturally and without conflict. Sex with T. even got better, perhaps because he continued to be jealous of me. But O was not jealous at all, he behaved a little distantly, which attracted me all the more.
We had no domestic problems. They bought food, I cooked, and the cleaning lady kept it clean. It used to be fun to hang our clothes after washing, like I had two husbands.
We lived together for almost half a year, even T. had time to get used to our trio, although he continued to be nervous. I think he was a little prone to mental masochism, which is why he did not leave me. I partly understand him, because I myself suffered when O. brought other girls home. It didn't happen often, but it hurt my self-esteem.
In general, T. and I suffered in our trio, but O. simply enjoyed life. I did not arrange a showdown for him, I only made fun of his tastes in terms of female beauty.
It all ended when I realized that he was serious with one of them. How serious could this possibly be in the case of O. The girl began to stay with us for the night several times a week and even tried to make friends with me, being sure that I was only dating T. I tolerated this, but once O. refused me sex , said he was not in the mood. And that was the end of our already not very funny romance. The situation began to seem like a farce to me: T. is running after me, I am running after O, and O is not running after anyone. He does not care. I left them without explanation, just said that I was no longer interested in continuing. O. calmly said goodbye to me, T. offered to rent an apartment and live together. I didn’t agree, and we parted, although he tried to get me back for a long time.
Anything is possible in the 21st century. At a time when people are talking about democracy, freedom of choice, equality of the sexes, the turn has come to the natural and family foundations. So we are used to the fact that mom + dad + me = a happy family, but no, not always.
We want to tell you an amazing story about two Swedish gay couples who "agreed" and became parents. This story may shock someone and cause ambiguous emotions, but everyone should read it!
Swedish family
About myself
I grew up in a strict church family, my father held a very high position in the Swedish church, we moved a lot. Until the age of nineteen, I had no idea about my homosexuality. At seventeen or eighteen I had first one boyfriend, then another. Not that I was delighted with this relationship, but I didn't particularly stare at girls either. In general, I was sure that I was straight.
About meeting your wife
I met my future wife in college, taking a literary course. I liked her immediately. Although she had a boyfriend, and I was free. But some kind of chemistry between us arose immediately. I did not dare to take the first step, because I did not want to interfere in their relationship. Soon I realized that she liked me too. After our first kiss, she dumped her boyfriend and we started dating. The first six months we lived separately, and then, when we entered the university, we decided to move in. Then I decided to confess to my parents and older sisters that I was a lesbian. The sisters were not shocked by the news, although, of course, they were surprised. My parents, oddly enough, supported me, said that they would love the way I am. This moved me very much, although we are not very close. After this conversation, they never returned to this topic. It seems to me that this still causes some awkwardness for them, although they immediately reacted with sympathy to my future wife.
About living together
We started living together on a small university town in the south of Sweden. In general, neither in Stockholm, where we moved later, nor in small towns where I happened to live, did I feel a lack of tolerance. Although misunderstandings do occur frequently. For example, according to Swedish law, a young couple living together (this is called sambo. - Ed.) Can receive financial assistance for renting or buying a home. Since my girlfriend and I already lived together officially and were registered at the same address, we applied for this subsidy. A lady from the social department called me and said that since we are friends, we are entitled to a lower subsidy. I objected that we are not friends and are in a romantic relationship. The lady hesitated a little, and then said: "I understand, okay." We received full housing allowance, as did heterosexual couples. We registered the "Partnership" in 1999, then it was also called that. But already in 2001, when parliament equated gay marriage with heterosexual, we submitted a new application, and our partnership received the status of marriage. Then my wife took my last name. We thought it would simplify everything, but we had to clarify everywhere that we are not sisters. Moreover, I have a rare surname.
About the birth of children
When we got married, we arranged a small wedding, invited close relatives and several friends to it. Everything went modestly, but I consider this day one of the happiest in my life. At the beginning of our relationship, we knew that we wanted to have children. In Sweden, according to my observations, they made some kind of cult out of it. If you get married - it doesn't matter if it's a same-sex marriage or a heterosexual - everyone around you is wondering when you are going to have children. And if there is already one child in the family, everyone begins to pester you with the question when you have already given birth to the second. At first, we did not know how to do this, because we did not consider the option of traditional fertilization, that is, sex with a man. Both I and my wife wanted to give birth to a child.
We went to a consultation at RFSL (a very influential Swedish LGBT organization that provides assistance to LGBT people. - Ed.) And learned that it is possible to get pregnant in an alternative way. We were given brochures on how to do it correctly and hygienically. It was necessary to resolve the issue of sperm donation. Just finding a donor - this option did not suit us very much. We wanted biological fathers, preferably a gay couple, to also be interested in children and would like to raise them together. The Internet was not that widespread then, and we chose the old-fashioned way - we advertised in a major LGBT newspaper. Several men responded to it, we chose Tommy and Mikaele. We liked them: like us, they were in a strong marriage. To get to know them better, we went on a ferry cruise together for a couple of days. At our request, they passed the necessary tests.
I think that my fathers and I were lucky: despite the fact that they are now, like us, divorced (we divorced after 14 years of marriage, they - after 17 years), Tommy and Mikaele are equally involved with us in raising children. After we met, we decided that I would give birth to a child with Micke, and my wife - with Tommy, and I will give birth first. I had a wonderful boy, two years later my wife gave birth to a girl from Tommy.
About double divorce
When we had children, my wife and I bought a big house. The children lived with us for two weeks a month, and then two weeks with their fathers. From the very beginning, we decided to be open with the children and not hide how they were born. For them, we are both real mothers, they also consider Tommy and Mikke to be their real parents. The children know that each of them has a biological mother and a biological father: my son knows that I am his biological mother, and Mikke is his biological father, and Katarina knows that Tommy is her biological father, and my ex-wife is her biological mother. Nevertheless, she also calls me mom. We all take turns attending parent-teacher conferences at school. If suddenly I do not have time to go to school for my son, my ex-wife goes with one of the fathers. When the ex cannot go to the parents' meeting with her daughter, then I go with Micke or Tommy. All teachers know what kind of family we have. However, after Tommy and Mikke and I divorced, things got more complicated. At the trial, it was decided that all four of us have an equal right to be with children and participate in their upbringing. Only we all still had to agree on a schedule for when and how many children live with each parent. At first it was a complete madhouse. Both me and the ex, as well as their fathers, found it difficult to communicate after the divorce. But we didn't want it to reflect on the children. Although, of course, they felt everything. Despite their young age (son - 11 years old, daughter - 9), they know and understand everything. I was very worried about the divorce and, to be honest, did not want to know anything about my ex's new relationship. Moreover, I was alone then, and the thought that my ex-wife had someone was unbearable for me. But since the children came to me and told me that their other mother had a new girlfriend, that they went to the water park together, I had to endure and not show how I felt. However, my daughter saw how I was worried and asked: “Mom, maybe you could live three together: you, mom and her friend? And would you feel good? " I replied that it would not work out that way.
About shift parenting
Now children take turns living with each of us. For example, on weekends they stay with Mikke, then from Monday to Friday it's my turn. I pick them up Monday night from school and take a few days off from work or just leave work early. Then Tommy picks them up from school on Friday night and so on. Every month the children stay with me once for the weekend and once on weekdays. And so - for each of the four parents. True, Tommy sometimes fails. He can suddenly write to all of us: "I am urgently leaving for Spain next weekend, who can take the children with me?" This is especially annoying to me. Or when he says that he will pick up the children in the morning, and then eventually arrives in the evening. And we sit all day and wait for him to arrive. We may not be on the best terms, especially my ex-wife and I, but we are always in touch and help each other. If suddenly one of the children gets sick, all parents should immediately be in the know, so that they know what to prepare, what pills to stock up on when it comes their turn to take their children.
On holidays like Christmas or Midsummer (Solstice, which is celebrated by the Swedes. - Ed.), Each of us takes our children for two days. During the summer holidays, we have about two and a half weeks each to be with the children. Despite the fact that I love both children equally, my son is still special to me. Only I don't show it to children. However, when my son was admitted to the hospital with a broken arm, the doctor called my ex. We still have the same surname, and in some of the children's documents I am indicated as a contact person, in some - she. I called the doctor back and asked to call me about him, because I am his biological mother.
Relationships at work
I am a social worker. At work, everyone is aware of my orientation, I do not hide anything from anyone. In my center, we help parents of children with special needs. I myself am in charge of many cases, I advise parents who, for example, have a child with Down syndrome.
Once a family of two mothers who had a child with a serious brain injury approached us. They were going to get divorced, and we had to handle this case, because all the cases of children with special health indications come to us. And at work they discussed what to do with a child, since this is a same-sex marriage. As in any other organization, at our workplace there are overwhelming majority of heterosexuals. I then said: "Let me speak, I still have an idea, since I myself was married to another woman." And nothing, colleagues do not bulge their eyes.
What children think
I often wonder if our children would be happier if they had an ordinary family and two parents. To be honest, I don’t know. I would give a lot to see children every day. But I have come to terms with the way everything is arranged with us. We are often asked: “And do you like torturing children with constant moving? After all, they are probably exhausting all the time to move from house to house ”. We asked the children how they were doing. They say: “We have something, we have fun, we have a big family and instead of two parents - there are already four! But for you yourself, probably all this is not very good, since you divorced. " Children are calm about the fact that they have two mothers and two fathers, they are not embarrassed by peers' questions about how it happened. I heard them explain to friends that their mothers fell in love with each other and wanted them to have children, like everyone else. That they found two future dads and took their seed, but were not with these dads for their children to be born. So they were born differently. Of course, other children listen to this story with their mouths wide open. Sometimes I wonder if it’s too selfish what we got our children into. Just think: when, for example, they want to start their own families, then not two parents will come to their wedding, but as many as four, and this is already four families. And if we take into account that each of us now has a new partner, it turns out that it will already be eight people. In the meantime, everything is going well, the four of us drop off for children's birthdays, someone, for example, takes over the purchase of decoration balls, someone prepares a cake, someone is responsible for the games. We take turns taking them to rest, we jointly pay for the expenses for education.
People often ask me: “Do you think your children are straight? What if your son grows up and realizes that he is gay? " The answer to this question is not easy. Of course, for my children the very fact of homosexuality in society is not something extraordinary. But at the same time, Katarina always falls in love with boys, although, of course, she is only nine years old, it's too early to say. Jonas is interested in girls. To be honest, I would rather prefer that the children were of traditional orientation. I would not want them to go through the difficulties that I have to face in life. Even in our society, which is considered one of the most tolerant, being gay and lesbian is harder than being straight.
About grandparents
We plan summer vacations for children together with the grandparents of the other parents, because they also want to see their grandchildren. True, it usually turns out no more often than at Christmas, for winter and summer vacations. This summer we will most likely go to Mikke's parents in northern Sweden, they have a large summer house by the lake. He earnestly asked us to restructure the schedule so that the children would be with him in July. With my parents, as well as with the parents of my ex-wife, our children rarely communicate, because their parents live far from Stockholm. But if I go out to my family on weekends, I try to do it on the days when I have children, because my parents also want to babysit with them. In general, in Sweden it is not very customary to involve grandparents in raising grandchildren or to leave them for the summer with them. Of course, Christmas night, when the whole family gathers, is sacred. Last Christmas, we almost had a fight with our second mother, because we could not decide which of us could take the children to his place for the weekend and take them to their parents. As a result, we agreed that on Saturday I would take the children to my parents, then on Sunday she would take them to hers. And on Christmas itself, all the parents get together, the parents of Mikke and Tommy also come, because they live in Stockholm. Grandparents make sure to buy gifts for all their children and grandchildren for Christmas. But parents in Sweden prefer to raise their children themselves. For example, if one parent works, then the other (it does not matter if it is a man or a woman) can take parental leave. Until the age of seven, the child goes to kindergarten, where they are taught until six or seven in the evening. Given that the working day in most institutions ends at four to five hours.
At the request of the heroine, all names were changed.
Text: Elena Krivovyaz
Illustrations: Masha Shishova
God only knows what people think when they hear the expression "Swedish family". Since the sexual revolution has ceased to be a novelty among the achievements of democracy, but has become the property of the broad masses, everyone is already aware of what it all looks like.
In our unstable world, we want to be sure of at least something. After all, a healthy social unit is the basis of Soviet life. In general, I still advocate family values. Most part of time.
But let's not immediately deny the innovation that has already set the teeth on edge.
I propose to start with a historical perspective.
For the first time, a family of two plus n members was documented not in Sweden, but in Spain. Of course, this remarkable fact was included in the annals for a reason. There have been enough strange people at all times. The court chronicler will not write about every pockmarked and lame man. But the precedent took place directly among the august family. And this is, whatever one may say, the celebrities of that time.
Her Majesty the Queen of Spain, Maria-Louise of Parma, was not only the wife of His Majesty King Charles IV of Spain, but also an extremely eager for male affection.
For the time being, she somehow managed to keep herself within the bounds of her position, until one young don appeared in the palace. Don Manuel Godoy.
History is silent about how exactly Louise of Parma saw an unusual talent in an ordinary royal guard. Don Manuel suffered from a mental disorder manifested in increased sexual excitability, now known as "satiriasis". Well, how he suffered ... Rather, he enjoyed.
And the Spanish queen was just looking for something like that in her life. That would be more consistent with her irrepressible temperament than the king.
It seems that everything should have ended with a gallows or what they usually executed reckless young men who raised, so to speak, their hand ... Well, or whatever they had ...
But the unexpected happened! Majesty himself liked the young man. They say that he called Godoy only "my dear friend" and not only forgave him the children of Marie Louise, who alternately resemble Father A, then Father B, but also granted him all sorts of positions and privileges. The apotheosis of the promotion of a talented young man was the title of "Prince of Peace" and a personal fortune that exceeded the budget of Spain itself.
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But I won't bore you with further details about these brave pioneers of polyamory.
I will only add that the term "Swedish family" is known only in the post-Soviet space and is associated with rumors about progressive Swedish youth of the sixties. They really widely practiced there at some point in the communal family arrangement. But they quickly got mad. They say that now the Swedes are very chaste. Even those who have had five grandfathers and eight grandmothers as an echo of those events.
But I want to move from the advantages of such a house-building, concerning debauchery, to quite everyday ones.
Indeed, in fact, we do not spend much time in our bedrooms, indulging in intimate pleasures. We mostly sleep there. Sometimes we eat.
And the most important thing in a family is, of course, everyday life. No wonder so many crimes are committed on this basis!
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After all, the Swedish family is not only Swedish, but also a family!
Well, for example, let's take a hypothetical Ivanov family, which will include one wife and two husbands. With such a ratio, it is immediately clear that the likelihood of begging for some, say, a fur coat from your husband doubles. Two earners simultaneously earn money, which, as many people know, is never enough. You can arrange a tender for the repair of outlets and the assembly of cabinets... There are as many as two labor forces to dig up a garden bed or vacuum. And generally speaking. If you position yourself correctly, create a competitive environment, so to speak, they will also fight for the right to manage. They will pull each other's trash cans. Perhaps even blowing off the specks of dust and kissing the manicure of your only wife.
Or, for example, here are many wives whose husbands work a lot or build a bathhouse there, have the habit of complaining that a man is not around. With two husbands, the problem is solved at once! Let one go to work, and let the other sit at home, play with the children, do the housework there.
Or vice versa: there is one husband and two wives. The lucky one will be surrounded by care and kindness on both sides. He comes home from work, and the first wife offers him borscht, the second pushes her away, shoves a pie with cabbage. All socks are darned. Two shaving foams have been lying around since Defender of the Fatherland Day. "You are not tired, dear you are ours, the only one? Can you turn on the World of tanks or will you play football with beer?"
No matter how it is!
With the increase in the number of spouses, not only the pluses but also the minuses grow! For two husbands you need to cook twice as much, wash twice as much, and twice as much dirty dishes and socks under the bed! Twice as much whining when a woman decides to go shopping with her loved ones. And if both came at the same time drunk, so generally a pipe! How to take all this firewood to bed?
Two husbands also mean two mothers-in-law, who will look after the well-being of their sons with redoubled attention and, at any opportunity, teach their daughter-in-law wisdom. As in that joke. "Fool! How is she lying? The boy is uncomfortable!"
And even in bed! Kind of good in theory. Well, how are both embarrassed at once? Walk them then calm them all down, Eeyore donkeys!
It's not easy to cope with two wives, too. These men can almost always agree with each other. And if your wives quarreled among themselves? Women, however, do not know how to conflict at all! They are immediately to death and for life! With a shortage of men per female capita, war becomes inevitable, as with the overproduction of Tomahawk missiles in the United States. And not everyone will be able to calmly watch from the sofa as one beloved wife rips out the hair of another beloved wife!
They say that such a consumption of poisonous substances, as in the Sultan's harems, was nowhere to be found!
And you need to earn money, put both shoes on, dress them up, take them to Gagra, go to both mothers-in-law for the weekend. And God forbid someone should not give something!
Ambition, of course, is a good thing. But two disgruntled wives are too much!
In general, friends, the idea seems to be not a bad one. But there are nuances.
I understand that many are interested. But when you especially want a second wife or a second husband there, always try to predict all the possible consequences of this cohabitation.
Group sex and the Swedish family - how are the two related to each other? As it turned out, these are completely different things. A Swedish family is three people of different sexes living together. The sexual connection between them, as in any normal family, certainly exists, but it is due to the mutual feelings of the whole tandem. Threesome sex does not initially imply any warm feelings between ... between all, in general.
How is it that people enter into this kind of relationship and agree to live in three? Most often, a Swedish family becomes a way out in cases where, say, a girl cannot choose between two young people who she really likes. In this case, she has a desire to keep both of them next to her, perhaps even compare them. What to do?
There are several significant factors to be taken into account here. The first and foremost obstacle is that it is impossible to give both beloved men (or women) equal attention. The situation of rivalry for a partner (if this partner is really loved), who is in the center, is inevitable in any case. The outcome can be anything - to the point that you still have to choose between your loved ones, or they just leave.
Secondly, the Swedish family is a difficult psychological situation for everyone. Is it possible to sincerely love two at the same time and share a beloved person with someone else? You can argue on this issue indefinitely. But still keep in mind: the nerves at one point may simply not stand it.
Third. Do you really think that, having decided on a life together with two, you will not want to try something else and compare the relationship with a large number of people? Albeit relative, but still freedom from "normal", formal relationships is very relaxing. Where is the guarantee that the number of members of the union will not increase over time?
Another reason for the creation can be blackmail: "If you do not want to live as a three, I will not hold you." Think about it, do you need a Swedish family for the sake of a pairing relationship that is no longer in sight?
On the other hand, Swedish families are not without their advantages. Such a relationship can be convenient for all participants. When this condition is met, they can be quite durable and long.
Agree, maintaining comfort in a family nest is much easier for two women than for one. And the man will be surrounded by a double portion of care and tenderness. Otherwise, the two breadwinners will be better able to provide for their woman. But here, too, there are some pitfalls - warm friendships can easily be mistaken for love.
By the way, how do the Swedes themselves relate to the concept of "Swedish family"? Interestingly, they put a completely different meaning in this combination. In this country, this is a form of cohabitation of a man and a woman who have not yet been officially registered. Ours is simply put. At the same time, a woman can have children from different men, since the attitude towards such phenomena in Sweden is completely normal. And young people do not sign one by one there - it's not cheap. And the funds are safe, and the nerves.
