Self-confidence is the platform on which a person's success in life is based. How to believe in yourself and your strength - this question is often asked by people who seek help from a psychologist.
However, there are no universal rules and methods in this matter - after all, every person is unique and you need to find an individual way to gain confidence. Someone is helped by the family - parents, grandmothers, to "stand firmly on their feet." Others, however, cannot do without the qualified help of a doctor. However, the efforts are worth it - after believing in their own strength, a person is literally ready to "move mountains."
Let's figure out why a person stops believing in himself, becomes timid and shy, and then we will learn to overcome this problem, take the main steps towards success.
The main reasons for lack of faith in yourself
Before you understand how to help a person believe in himself, you need to find out why he has lost "solid ground under his feet." As a rule, the reasons for self-doubt are:
- The environment of a person - if in a family or a team every day they say that there is no talent, and the hands “do not grow from there,” then the child grows up as a “gray mouse”, an insecure adult. As a rule, quite often you have to prove something even after leaving school, admission to a new job. It is good if a faithful friend or relative leads the hand through life. But this is rare.
- Constant comparison of oneself with others is a fairly common reason for the formation of disbelief in one's own abilities and capabilities. From infancy, a child can hear that other children are better at something, or they have special talents in something. The inferiority complex then lasts all your life, if you do not fight it. Too frequent comparison will lead to a significant decrease in self-esteem, the formation of self-doubt.
- Failures and failures in the past. Perfect people do not exist, and everyone can make a mistake. Simply, if you are constantly afraid of something new because of a once wrong step or action, then the number of failures will only multiply. However, if you analyze your mistake and understand what it was, in the future the person will no longer commit it. And success will only strengthen self-confidence.
However, self-doubt may have other reasons. For example, when physical and intellectual fatigue depletes all the strength of a person. Because of this, all events that happen to him are viewed exclusively from a negative point of view.
Women's manifestations of self-doubt
Glossy women's magazines often publish articles on how to believe in yourself and achieve success. In the depths of her soul, almost every representative of the beautiful half of humanity doubts herself, her own attractiveness or success with the opposite sex. It is because of such insecurity that various problems appear in personal life or in a team. However, you can and should fight with them.
In severe cases, for example, she simply does not know how to force herself to believe in herself. And no assurances from her friends and relatives will help her. Constant meetings with a psychotherapist are required to work out all internal complexes. Only in this case will it be possible to defeat depression and develop confidence in the ability to overcome difficulties. Gradually, a woman gains faith in herself.Or another situation that young women have to face - persistent chauvinism of men in professional activities. And in the progressive XXI century, many representatives of the strong half of humanity are sure that a woman's place is exclusively in the kitchen and in the hospital. They suppress the personality of a woman, make them lose confidence both intellectually and physically.
If a woman does not give in to petty tricks and "hooking" of male colleagues, then they resort to other measures. For example, they emphasize the non-sexuality of women, ridicule the manner of dressing, apply makeup. In conjunction with the eternal female insecurity - the "Eve" complex, it also painfully hits the feeling of security and self-confidence.
- accept yourself as nature has created - with all the shortcomings and advantages;
- clearly understand your strengths and demonstrate them, while “retouch” small errors;
- literally "by heart" to know their job responsibilities, to constantly improve in the profession, thereby giving self-confidence - a highly qualified specialist will always be in demand, even in those spheres where men originally "rule".
For centuries, women have proven that they can successfully compete with men in many areas of life, while not losing their feminine attractiveness. Therefore, the main thing is to believe in yourself and your own uniqueness, attractiveness and intelligence. Then the people around will see only what the woman wants to demonstrate, and not her weaknesses and unbelief.
Belief of men in themselves
Since for centuries men have dominated most social spheres, the question of their self-confidence seems to be especially relevant. However, not everyone from childhood manages to demonstrate their superiority to others. If a boy was even once made remarks about being overweight, weak in physical education class, or excessive angularity, then such statements can undermine his faith in himself for a long time. Especially if such “comments” were made in the presence of girls or other significant person for the child.
A boy grows into a young man with huge internal complexes, which are far from always possible to overcome on their own, for example, due to the development of physical strength or intelligence. Of course, the family plays a huge role in the correct upbringing of a confident personality. If parents tell even the physically or intellectually weakest child that he is the best and most beloved, he will certainly grow into a full-fledged member of society. In an adult state, he will be firmly confident in his abilities.
Choosing the right life partner also plays an important role. If a woman constantly insists that her husband is a failure and brings little money to the family, then, in the end, he really will believe in it. Whereas support in the most risky endeavors will inspire a man and force him to further improve, confidently go towards his own dream.
How to live on and believe in yourself
Sometimes the situation develops in such a way that it seems to a person that nothing depends on him, troubles are pouring out of the "Pandora's box" and it is not possible to cope with it. However, you should not despair, in this case, a few tips on how to believe in yourself when you give up will definitely be appropriate, will help to solve seemingly insoluble issues.
So, you need:
- To perceive life as it is is not worth embellishing, but it is also impossible to form in oneself a lack of faith in joy and love or anhedonia. If you prepare yourself for daily hardships and adversities, they will indeed happen. After all, it is already a practically proven fact that people's thoughts are material. Psychotherapists recommend decomposing each problem into its component parts - each of which becomes smaller, and therefore easier to solve. And having solved one problem and believing that everything will work out, indeed, it will be possible to cope with the problem as a whole.
- Make comparisons not with those who are higher in social status or material wealth, but with people equal in these criteria. Then your own life will seem quite prosperous and even successful.
- In the memories that periodically appear in any person, try to return to positive moments and events. While negative events try to displace from memory or hide "on the far shelf", delete them into the "archive of the brain". Fond memories will improve your mood, and this, in turn, will have a positive effect on your whole life.
- Realistically assess your own strengths and capabilities. Not chasing a million in the lottery, but building your life day after day out of the bricks of real possible actions. Then the result will be clearly visible. You should not be hovering somewhere in the distant future, when food may not be enough.
Self-confidence is daily work on a personality, a long road in millions of small steps. And only by overcoming difficulties and receiving a reward for this, a person will be sure that he can do everything.
What you need to do to believe in yourself
Of course, not in all cases it is possible to develop in oneself “iron” confidence in oneself and in one's own strengths, as in the “steadfast tin soldier” who never gives up. However, everyone can carry out purposeful work to foster such self-confidence.
So, someone can be helped by a list made up of the available positive and negative qualities. It is better if such a list is compiled not only by an insecure person, but also by his relatives and friends. Comparing and evaluating them will allow you to get a clearer idea of all the strengths and weaknesses. And only after that it will be possible to draw up a plan of how to emphasize the first of them, and correct the second. Moreover, it is necessary to focus mainly on the strengths, to develop them, to emphasize, well, and the weak ones - you just need to know and "do not stick out".
For example, if at work someone authoritarianly stated that they had made a mistake in the report, immediately get better and focus on the merits - the work done ahead of schedule, its huge volume, the lack of additional help in its implementation. Such gestures will help build authority among colleagues.
In general, in a team it is better to communicate more often with those people who are of professional and personal interest, from whom you can learn something new for yourself, learn something. Then there will be more support, and the absence of stress will have a positive effect on labor productivity.
If a mistake was made, you should not dwell on failure, but immediately try to fix everything. It is also highly regarded by the superiors.
Another effective method of how to make a man believe in himself, or a representative of the beautiful part of the population, is to improve his own appearance in combination with attending advanced training courses. The new stylish modern appearance and the additional information received will contribute to gaining confidence, confirmed by a positive assessment from the outside.
In the case when all of the above recommendations do not give a tangible result - the person remains, as before, timid and insecure, then he needs the qualified help of a psychologist or psychotherapist, work with a trainer specializing in the field of personal and professional growth.
In individual or group conversations, it will be established what caused the formation of an insecure personality, what are the origins of the problem. Only after finding out and understanding them, it will be possible to take steps to overcome the problem.
To date, many techniques have been developed - trainings and seminars that help to become confident and psychologically strong personal. The optimal occupational therapy regimens are selected on an individual basis. For example, a specialist can set a specific task that is quite within the power of a timid person, prompts several directions in which to act. In the next lesson, the person is told what they did and what they didn’t succeed in.
This is exactly how - step by step, uncertainty and shyness are overcome, the skill of life's struggle with troubles is developed.
Almost any complex lends itself to psychocorrection. The main thing is to want to deal with it in a timely manner and ask for help.
Believing in yourself is an important element of finding success in the modern world. Having high self-esteem, a person is able to change everything around and in his life. However, self-confidence tends to fall for a variety of reasons. There are dozens of ways to improve it.
Many books and articles have been written about how to believe in yourself. This topic is discussed on online forums, seminars and webinars are devoted to it. All kinds of sources of information offer different ways to regain lost self-esteem, among which there are folk and foreign practices.
Note! Of the main methods of increasing self-esteem, goal setting, motivation, the use of affirmations, psychological techniques, as well as practical actions that will help achieve what you want are distinguished.
Desire alone is not enough to believe in yourself, as the media sometimes claim. If self-esteem is underestimated, you need to carefully work on yourself, your habits and worldview. You will probably have to achieve many goals before a person realizes that the dream has been achieved. However, it is worth reminding yourself more often that believing in yourself will help you achieve something that a person has not previously thought about.
Where does self-doubt come from?
Self-doubt is fairly easy to acquire in a world of exaggerated demands, caustic remarks, and unjustified hopes. You can create the illusion that all the problems are from childhood. Of course, many parents unconsciously can influence the self-esteem of their children by criticizing their appearance and behavior. In later life, a small person encounters teachers and mentors who place excessive hopes on the child, friends who betray trust, bosses who give voluminous work and short deadlines. All this unsettles, tiresome, interrupts the desire to strive for something. Therefore, it is important to think about how you can start to believe in yourself.
Why some are confident, while others are not
How to gain faith in yourself and yourself, when it is obvious that one is given everything, while others are given nothing? If you look closely at the people around you, you can see that it is easier for others to fulfill their dreams, they are confident in themselves. It is easier for them to start new business, they do not pay attention to the opinions of outsiders in order to achieve goals, they are not alien to making new, so-called, useful acquaintances.
Important! To be a successful person, you need to be yourself, you need to believe in yourself. This will contribute to enjoying what a person allows himself to create.
Factors affecting self-esteem
Before trying to figure out how to believe in yourself and yourself, you should familiarize yourself with the factors that help to acquire or contribute to the loss of self-confidence:
- The attitude of the parents towards the child and how the child feels around them. Some parents praise their child, encourage, emotionally rejoice in his achievements. Others only notice failures, scold for the slightest wrongdoing, and ignore successes. It is quite logical that in the first case the person will be confident, in the second - no faith in himself.
- The attitude of relatives, sisters, brothers to the child. Someone is called the pride of the family, someone is referred to as “the family has its black sheep”. The former can afford to do big things, the latter become indecisive.
- Relationship with peers. Roles in the group - leader, follower, “running errands”. The same goes for groups: class at school, employees at work.
- Social roles: I am as a woman (daughter, mother, friend), I am as a man (father, son, friend). Feeling yourself in certain roles.
Note! In the role of a friend, a person can feel more confident than in the role of a son.
- The attitude of the beloved. Does one partner command the other, requires obedience, or does the relationship take place on an equal footing.
- Attitude towards yourself. Does the person tend to feel sorry for themselves, indulge in self-flagellation, or regularly reward themselves for achievements.
How to raise your own self-esteem
The ways of learning to believe in yourself differ for men and women. Modern times have a detrimental effect on the attitude of different sexes. Previously, responsibilities were strictly separated, today they are mixed. Still, there are a number of factors that separate the level of self-esteem of different people.
Women's psychology of self-confidence
It is important for women to believe in themselves and themselves, otherwise their life becomes a simple existence. If nothing is done, it will come to the clinic. Considering that the beautiful half of humanity is more sensitive to the outside world, the emotional component is very important.
It is believed that women with low self-esteem are distinguished in society by the fact that they attract bad people. These can be men and "friends" who take advantage of the kindness of the victim. Such women are not able to refuse a request to close people, believing that this is the only way to receive recognition and love. They do not ask, they do not know how to ask, preferring to do everything on their own, hiding behind the word "independent." He considers good deeds in his address as a catch.
Male psychology of self-belief
A lot of works and articles have been devoted to how to gain confidence and believe in yourself in a man, since this is a very important issue. The self-esteem of a strong half of humanity is influenced by the following elements:
- Social status, namely a stable position in society, authority, influence;
- Career professionalism;
- Successes that help to grow, failures that bring rewarding experience and wisdom;
- Popularity among women.
It is believed that self-confidence and discipline in men come from childhood. If parental attention was adequate, in sufficient quantity, moderately strict, with manifestations of affection, this will allow an independent independent man to grow up.
Note! Support is important throughout life because a person is constantly faced with injustice, deception and betrayal.
Excessive criticism on this score seriously damages self-esteem. More precisely, self-esteem is lowered by:
- Indecision, fear of undertakings;
- Dependence on the opinions of outsiders;
- Stiffness in communication with the opposite sex;
- A tendency to apathy.
How to move your life forward
There are hundreds of tips on how to make yourself believe in yourself. It is important to find harmony, develop physically, mentally, take care of yourself morally, more often say "believe in yourself, and you will succeed."
Affirmations are a modern way of advancing a person towards a goal. In the early morning, you need to awaken all positive emotions and declare to the world that “my life is sheer pleasure”, on the way to work, mentally tune the universe to the fact that “I am cheerful, energetic and productive”. A person must learn to maintain their thoughts on a positive wave, not succumbing to provocations, not paying attention to energy vampires and other ill-wishers.
Different advice is given to men and women on how to make a person believe in himself. General recommendations on how to raise a man's self-esteem agree that he should develop harmoniously: combine sports, reading books, maintain good relationships with loved ones, and correctly prioritize.
In order for women's self-esteem to increase, she needs to know that she is hardy and healthy, attractive and kind, while she will not give herself offense. In addition, it is important for her to perceive herself with all the advantages and disadvantages so that no one can “surprise” her or try to offend her with what she already knows.
Believing in yourself and your strength is both easy and difficult. A properly laid program of education and attitude is a big step forward. If a person has suffered from lack of attention and over-criticism, it will take time for him to build self-esteem and be able to keep it afloat.
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The main way to help is communication. A frank conversation allows you to understand the state of mind of a person, to figure out what prevents him from fulfilling a dream. It is important to find the most comfortable environment for the interlocutor so that he can open up. Some are closer to having conversations in private, others find it easier to discuss everything during the game, others talk about painful things in the form of a joke.
Common goals and desires
Try to identify common goals and objectives and come together to achieve them. This will become a support, because it is easier to move along the intended path together. This will help the person feel confident in their abilities.
Analysis of the environment of a loved one
The environment strongly influences us: it can both give strength and nourish our self-esteem, and exactly the opposite. Focus on finding like-minded people. The more people with an active lifestyle in the company who make their dreams come true, broadcast the mindset for success, the higher the chances of believing in yourself and achieving a lot.
Joint pastime
Make the most of your time by watching inspirational movies, reading books, and collaborating. This provides an opportunity for indirect influence, you push the person in the right direction, help to develop faith in yourself. Communication will set the stage for conversations.
Praise and approval
Parental failure and disapproval builds up self-doubt. Praise and reassurance are needed to help shake off thoughts of your own failure. No need to flatter or praise just like that. Give value to what the person does. Instead of “It's good that you finally nailed this shelf. Thank you!" say: "It's so good that you nailed the shelf: we don't need to spend money on the master and wait for his arrival."
Moving towards the dream step by step
If the goal seems difficult to reach, then self-disappointment sets in even before the person takes the first step. He doesn't know where to start. You need to help a loved one break down a big goal into small doable tasks that will move him towards his dream step by step.
For example, a friend wants to lose 20 kg in six months. The stages on the way to the goal can be as follows: find a nutritionist and make a menu, sign up for the gym and choose a set of workouts, start preparing healthy meals.
Sometimes people give up and begin to doubt their strengths and capabilities. The reasons for such changes are excessive reflection, lack of support from others, and low self-esteem of a person. You can cope with your own insecurity and learn to believe in yourself, start living without looking back at others, thanks to independent training. A few simple rules will help you fall in love with yourself and gain confidence in the future.
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When your hands drop
Doubts about their own abilities make them give up and often lead to prolonged depression. There are situations that can unsettle for a long time, have an impact not only on the psychological, but also on the physical state.
- 1. Death of a loved one. Sudden grief causes intense stress, leading to feelings of insecurity and a sense of emptiness. The pain of loss leads to physical weakness and malaise, which can develop into serious neurological disorders and illness.
- 2. Loss of work. A person who has lost a job not willingly will experience the whole range of negative emotions. He gives up, there is a feeling of uselessness, falling out of the rhythm of life. After being fired, it is not easy to find the strength to persistently look for a new job, but this must be done.
- 3. Betrayal. After cheating on a husband or wife, the spouse feels betrayed and devastated. Cheating is always difficult. Cheating on a trusted spouse, fear of feeling pain again, can cause distrust of other people and lead to complete withdrawal from them.
- 4. Parting. After a divorce and family disagreements, a difficult period begins when a person realizes that he needs to move on, but there is no more support. Not everyone succeeds in finding the strength to survive this time with dignity. Fear of change leads to a feeling of insecurity, unwillingness to move on.
- 5. Black stripe. A series of failures in sports, a favorite business, when no one else believes in a person's achievements, can make you feel disappointed in yourself and your own abilities. An occupation that gave meaning to life, gave energy, becomes an uninteresting burden, and one wants to give it up.
How to believe in yourself again?
To help yourself cope with your feelings of worthlessness, you need to adhere to several rules every day and not deviate from them a single step.
- 1. Act. To achieve any goal, specific steps must be taken. It is not worth waiting for a miracle from fate without doing anything: it will not come. To find a good job, you need to look for it every day. To lose weight, you need to go in for sports and not shirk, referring to malaise and employment. To be loved, you need to surround your loved one with attention and care. If you make it a rule to act daily in order to achieve your goal, life will begin to change for the better very soon.
- 2. Fight fear. Everyone is afraid of something: condemnation, ridicule, sidelong glances. A healthy indifference to the opinions and gossip of others can help you overcome your fear of failure.
According to research by psychologists, people are most concerned with their own problems, not the successes or failures of others.
- 3. Believe in yourself. You need to remember about the uniqueness of your own personality. Even if other people do not notice it. Believing in oneself, a person will receive an invaluable source of energy for a fulfilling life.
- 4. Perceive your mistakes. All people make mistakes. If you constantly renounce your own mistakes and are afraid to commit them, you will not succeed. Mistakes are as much a part of our life as achievements. By giving up one, a person does not receive the other either.
- 5. Keep a diary. It is necessary to make it a rule in the evening to write about all the actions performed during the day. Have all the things that were planned been done? What emotions prevailed that day and why? Keeping a journal can help you learn the lessons you need to know and draw the right conclusions.
To cope with the effects of stress, you need to seek help from a psychologist or neuropathologist. Adequate rest and sound sleep will help you get rid of worries as soon as possible.
You should not close in yourself and focus on your suffering - this will lead to a loss of interest in life, the erroneous conclusion that no one believes or understands a person in trouble. Having got rid of the consequences of the blows of fate, you need to continue to communicate with people and follow the recommendations that will help you gain strength and truly believe in yourself.
Have you ever wondered that a lot of the problems you face in life are due to self-doubt? Remember how you did not dare to respond to the vacancy of your dreams, how you were afraid to start a conversation with the person you liked, abandoned a chic outfit, could not defend your point of view in an argument, and then again and again blamed yourself for "giving up" or missing another chance. Lack of self-confidence is a lot of inconvenience. It is difficult to live a happy, harmonious life if you constantly doubt and repeat to yourself: "Am I worthy of this?", "Will I be able to?", "Am I that good?" It's time to change the situation, in this article you will learn how to believe in yourself.
How to believe in yourself
There are several effective rules, following which you can get rid of self-doubt and significantly improve the quality of life. So how to believe in yourself? Just follow the guidelines:
- Stop beating yourself up for imperfection... There is nothing perfect in the world. Accept yourself for who you are, with all your flaws. Allow yourself to be yourself, without reproaching one or another feature of your character or appearance.
- Redefine your social circle... Strive to interact with those who value you, believe in you, and support you in any situation. Limit your interactions with people who emit negative energy. This will help you move forward, rather than marking time, increasing self-doubt.
- Fight your fears... It is not necessary to start with a parachute jump if you are afraid of heights. Move gradually. If your problem is a fear of meeting new people, overpower yourself and get to know someone. Start taking courses that interest you, such as a dance class or a movie club. This will give you the opportunity to feel more confident in the company of like-minded people.
- Take care of your health... Think about whether you are eating right, exclude unhealthy foods from the diet. Start exercising, at least at home. After a few workouts, you will feel a surge of strength not only in your body, but also in your soul.
- Pay attention to your image... Perhaps you always wanted to change your monotonous wardrobe for bright colorful outfits? Or go from a sporty style of clothing to a more romantic one? The moment has come - go for it! Be brave and do not limit yourself in finding "your" image.
- Get inspired! Go to interesting exhibitions, read good literature, listen to quality music, watch masterpieces of cinema. What else was art created for, if not for this? Find at least an hour a day to enjoy the beauty.
- Comprehend new things... Learn to do what you didn't know how to do before. The Internet is full of video tutorials in a variety of areas. Work on your speech and voice, learn a foreign language, start knitting or tap dancing. New skills will allow you to look at yourself from a different perspective.
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Vedic astrology about confidence and uncertainty
The natal chart contains a huge amount of information about a person. You can find out how confident a person is on the basis of the position of the Sun in the natal chart. The Sun (Surya) is the "king" of the planets. It is an indicator of a person's confidence in their abilities, their leadership qualities, willpower, success in business, position in society.
A person with a strong Sun (the Sun "works" especially powerfully in the sign of Leo or Aries, as well as in the 1st house) does not experience problems with self-confidence. He has leadership qualities, he does not tend to doubt his abilities.
If the Sun is in Libra or Aquarius, then its energy is expressed extremely weakly. The sun located in the 12th house is also an indicator of lack of self-confidence. But do not assume that a weak Sun is a sentence. Even with the unfortunate position of this planet in your natal chart, you should not give up and think that you are doomed to eternal doubts about your capabilities.
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