Why do all men run away from me at the height of their relationship?
Hello dear friends! This article was written to help the beautiful half of humanity. A question from our reader with the beautiful name Love: in my relationships with men, the same situation is constantly repeated: a man disappears at the peak of a relationship, simply disappears without explanation. I understand that the problem is with me, but I do not know how to solve this problem.
I received a lot of letters of this content in my mail.
The reasons for this situation may be different, it is impossible to list them all. But there are key problems that I will talk about in this article.
In general, in the modern world, the relationship between a man and a woman is most often not the relationship of two Souls, united by pure and selfless love, but the mutually beneficial existence of the Ego of one and the other. And so, when the ego of a person, and it does not matter whether it is a man or a woman, grows to exorbitant proportions, big problems begin. In another way, it is called accumulated negative karma, moreover, a person's personal karma or ancestral karma along the female line, this is the second question.
Now I will explain in Russian)) What I have seen many times, working with this problem, when a woman complains that all men run away from her, and never comes to a serious relationship or to a wedding.
Why do men run away from me? Key reasons
I will answer first to a specific letter, then, for other possible reasons, we will go through.
One of the reasons: you have a great subconscious desire to tie a man to you and control him, this can manifest itself as fear of losing him, fear of being left alone, a desire to have him always next to you and no one else, etc.
Normal men always feel addicted and do not like it when a woman seeks to tie him up, lasso, subjugate him, her personal power. They feel it even if at the physical level you are not doing anything like that and behave very unobtrusively. But at the same time, subconsciously, a woman's desire to subjugate a man to her personal female power can be enormous.
This is the work of a developed female ego. Our Ego always strives to take power over others. The female ego is above men. The masculine is over the women. For what? The answer is simple - to use the other to realize your selfish desires, your will. So that he, a man, should serve a woman. The male ego accordingly wants women to serve him, fulfilling his desires.
How does the hypertrophied female or male Ego manifest itself? In the desire to bind to oneself, to make only “one's own”, to control all manifestations of the other, to deprive him of his freedom, to put him at the service of oneself. The female ego wants to appropriate the man for itself, to make him its own - "So that he only does what I want".
The ego is thirsty! It wants! And these desires are always personal and poorly controlled. As you know, the most important thing for an egoist is himself, this is what can be called “mine”. For a terry egoist, his personal desires are always in the first place!
Once again, I repeat, outwardly a woman can behave very modestly, not impose herself, keep herself in control, but at the same time energetically she has already thrown a thousand clamps on the man, has already tied him to her, climbed onto his head and chased him. And a man will always feel this emotional, spiritual and energetic lack of freedom, the framework into which his powerful female ego wants to drive.
Moreover, a woman also may not feel what she is doing spiritually and energetically in relation to a man. The negative karma accumulated in the past is simply working off (the subconscious is working). This is the dark power that subjugates and enslaves the other.
Surely you have met in life:
- Mothers who break the fate of their children, everywhere and everywhere entangling their fate, trying to control everything and everyone, trying to subordinate everything in their child's life to their will, because "They know better how to live ...".
- Or tyrant wives next to whom the husband is a beaten dog on a leash, which sits, lies, runs and raises its leg at the command of its mistress. In such a pair, you can immediately see who is the man in the family, who has power and who serves whom. Other.
But the point is, these are all gross manifestations of the ego, easily recognizable. And there is such a dark selfish power, which is very veiled, and outwardly you will not immediately see it, especially in yourself. When the ego has become more sophisticated, highly developed, subtle and the submission of another person's ego-power outwardly occurs very unobtrusively and accurately.
In general, the nature of the Ego, selfishness, egoist, I think many people understand. The essence of the Ego is, first of all, to “take” and not to “give”, to live at the expense of others, to use others in one's own interests, selfish motives, and so on. And it doesn't matter at all how a person externally furnishes it. It is also important to note here that an egoist is never truly satisfied and happy! Because the feeling of Happiness is given to a person by the Soul, and the Ego is not the light, but the darkened opposite of the divine Soul. Therefore, it is impossible to make a terry egoist happy !!!
How it works? If an overdeveloped female hungry ego lives and thrives in a woman's subconscious, she will energetically rip off and devour a man, downloading male energy and vitality from him, for which her ego is starving. Such a woman seeks to draw all the attention of a man onto herself, but next to her, men, as a rule, do not feel good or at least uncomfortable.
The ego, if not curbed, grows and turns into such an energy monster that lives in a person (a dark entity). This monster begins to destroy a person, his soul, everything light that is in it. And this ego monster feeds on the life energy of other people.
Here's another example. Probably heard, there are women, next to whom they die, all men die after a while. This is it! These are women with accumulated negative karma towards men. We can say that the ego of such women feeds on men, sucks life out of them, like a vampire sucks blood, and throws it out (sends it to the next world). So you need to control such things and clean your karma in time, trim your ego and give the power to your Soul, and not to egoism.
Another very common manifestation of the female Ego !!!When a woman hangs on a man, like a child on a big god. If a woman in her subconscious is inclined to deify a man, this is also a problem. Then she will strive in everything to shift the responsibility for herself and for her fate onto him, and he will replace God for her. This leads to the highest degree of affection, and therefore to the greatest fears of losing this false god (man). Attachment always gives rise to great fear, and fear produces the energy of aggression. And if a woman is mortally afraid of losing her man, she will simply frantically strive to control him in everything and limit his freedom. This is the beginning of the end of the relationship.
In order for the relationship to be happy, with the development of bright feelings for many years, a man and a woman should be equal, and God should be above them.
What to do with your hypertrophied female or male ego?
Ego is the unwillingness to “give” to oneself and the motive is only to “take” from the other what you need, this is a consumer attitude towards other people. The female ego is a consumer attitude towards men - “what can I fuck with him”, “what else has he not given me”, etc.
And men are attracted not to those women who download energy from them, drink all the juices of life and who only want to "take", but to those who are able to give, give from a pure heart their love, attention, tenderness, kindness and care, i.e. .d. And this is the key point! If her ego grows in a woman, she loses her feminine principle: the heart becomes callous, tenderness and care atrophies, kindness is replaced by claims that the man did not give her something, did not do something, always owes her, etc.
After all, the true bright feminine principle comes from the Soul, from the Feelings, and not from the selfish ego.
What to do if you find the symptoms described above in yourself? First of all, you need to sincerely determine your motives.
Woman is Love, Love is to give! Therefore, begin to determine not only what you want to receive from a man, what your requirements he must meet, but first of all with what you want to give to your potential or real beloved man! What do you want him? Do you wish him Good, Happiness, Satisfaction in the heart, success and strength? Would you like to? What do you want to convey from your heart, from your heart, to give it to your soul?
And do not be lazy, write it down in writing! If you work through this, accept with your soul, positive energy will go through you in relation to men and you will become more attractive to them.
Well, your negative karma from accumulated egoism, or ancestral karma from the female line, of course, also needs to be cleansed. But this must be done competently, with a Spiritual Healer or with a Spiritual Mentor, finding out the reasons and roots of the accumulated negative experience in your family.
According to generic karma, there can be serious esoteric things here that cannot be removed on the fly, just by desire: negative karma for love spells of men, for the destruction of families, for curses, etc.
Other reasons why a woman scares men away from herself?
Another very common reason is a negative attitude towards men accumulated in a woman's mind. Negative attitudes are distorted beliefs, attitudes, and misconceptions. In other words - an inadequate attitude towards men, inadequate, negative, categorical and stereotypical perception of them, which is manifested in the well-known programs "all men are good ...", "all men are goats ... bastards ...", etc.
With such a deliberately negative subconscious (or conscious) attitude, a woman simply pushes men away from herself. Men, on the other hand, subconsciously always feel negative towards themselves and leave. Because they do not want destruction, because any negative, especially if there is a lot of it, is bound to destroy. Negative attitude towards men - begins to destroy a man as soon as he falls into the field of influence of such a woman. For most men who leave communication with such a woman, the instinct of self-preservation is simply triggered.
If in the subconscious of a woman there is a lot of negativity in relation to men, there is simply no chance of building a happy family relationship. We need to unload! Get rid of grievances and claims to men, remove excessive demands on them, remove consumer attitudes and pride, learn to perceive a man, first of all, as a divine soul, as a person, as an equal.
How to remove the negative accumulated on men?
- Get rid of grievances and claims. Resentment against men, if it lives in your heart, destroys your bright feelings, your soul, health and life, attracts troubles to fate, destroys the men around you and your relationship with him. With resentment, work on the article - Touchiness. How to get rid of resentment?
- Write down in your workbook all claims to men in general and to specific ones. Ask yourself - "Why am I offended by men?"... And then, replace all negative beliefs (answers) with adequate, positive ones, those that your bright Soul will tell you. And look at this moment at a man, as at a divine soul, which, just like you learns, goes through its lessons on Earth, may be imperfect, make mistakes, repent, etc. How to do it right - be sure to learn in the article How to work with beliefs? How to change your beliefs? Do this task in several passes.
- Form the most complete positive attitude towards men. Just write a creative essay on the topic "My Best Relationship to Men!" Write with all your heart, with your heart, as if it is not you who are writing, but your divine Soul dictates and conveys its attitude to you. Draw images in the process of writing and put your best attitude towards the most worthy men in it. Write what you respect and love worthy men, and what you wish for all men, without exception. Wish great Good, Nobility and Courage to all men! This will make you attractive to such men :)
- Write in writing, in an arbitrary form, a Prayer-repentance before the souls of all men whom you despised, did not respect, infringed upon, in relation to whom you acted unfairly, selfishly, cruelly, with pride and arrogance. Repent before the egregor of men and before God for pride and resentment towards men. How to work with your pride, see the article - How to get rid of Pride and Arrogance?
Believe me, if you sincerely in front of yourself work out your attitude towards men according to all of the above recommendations, there will definitely be positive changes!
There are certainly other reasons, karmic reasons why men run away from women. But they already need to be watched individually with a Spiritual Healer or with a Mentor. A woman may have serious debts accumulated in relation to men in past incarnations, for example, when a woman has used men for her own selfish interests for many lives in a row, and then threw them away as unnecessary. And in this life there is a karmic return, when all the men she meets use it.
Also, one cannot do without a Healer if it is ancestral debts, negative ancestral karma. When, for example, all members of the clan on the female line are blocked private life and happy relationships with men. This will be the case until the karma of the clan is cleared. And in this clan, the first (that first) one should appear who will take on such responsibility and begin to work both on his own and to cleanse the karma of the clan.
A separate large block of reasons for karmic prohibitions on personal life are violations for Feelings, a blocked spiritual heart (Atman). In my opinion, these are generally the most difficult questions and the corresponding lessons that a person goes through in the process of his evolution on Earth.
Best regards, Vasily Vasilenko
Why do all men run away from me at the height of their relationship?
Hello dear friends! This article was written to help the beautiful half of humanity. A question from our reader with the beautiful name Love: in my relationships with men, the same situation is constantly repeated: a man disappears at the peak of a relationship, simply disappears without explanation. I understand that the problem is with me, but I do not know how to solve this problem.
I received a lot of letters of this content in my mail.
The reasons for this situation may be different, it is impossible to list them all. But there are key problems that I will talk about in this article.
In general, in the modern world, the relationship between a man and a woman is most often not the relationship of two Souls, united by pure and selfless love, but the mutually beneficial existence of the Ego of one and the other. And so, when the ego of a person, and it does not matter whether it is a man or a woman, grows to exorbitant proportions, big problems begin. In another way, it is called accumulated negative karma, moreover, a person's personal karma or ancestral karma along the female line, this is the second question.
Now I will explain in Russian)) What I have seen many times, working with this problem, when a woman complains that all men run away from her, and never comes to a serious relationship or to a wedding.
Why do men run away from me? Key reasons
I will answer first to a specific letter, then, for other possible reasons, we will go through.
One of the reasons: you have a great subconscious desire to tie a man to you and control him, this can manifest itself as fear of losing him, fear of being left alone, a desire to have him always next to you and no one else, etc.
Normal men always feel addicted and do not like it when a woman seeks to tie him up, lasso, subjugate him, her personal power. They feel it even if at the physical level you are not doing anything like that and behave very unobtrusively. But at the same time, subconsciously, a woman's desire to subjugate a man to her personal female power can be enormous.
This is the work of a developed female ego. Our Ego always strives to take power over others. The female ego is above men. The masculine is over the women. For what? The answer is simple - to use the other to realize your selfish desires, your will. So that he, a man, should serve a woman. The male ego accordingly wants women to serve him, fulfilling his desires.
How does the hypertrophied female or male Ego manifest itself? In the desire to bind to oneself, to make only “one's own”, to control all manifestations of the other, to deprive him of his freedom, to put him at the service of oneself. The female ego wants to appropriate the man for itself, to make him its own - "So that he only does what I want".
The ego is thirsty! It wants! And these desires are always personal and poorly controlled. As you know, the most important thing for an egoist is himself, this is what can be called “mine”. For a terry egoist, his personal desires are always in the first place!
Once again, I repeat, outwardly a woman can behave very modestly, not impose herself, keep herself in control, but at the same time energetically she has already thrown a thousand clamps on the man, has already tied him to her, climbed onto his head and chased him. And a man will always feel this emotional, spiritual and energetic lack of freedom, the framework into which his powerful female ego wants to drive.
Moreover, a woman also may not feel what she is doing spiritually and energetically in relation to a man. The negative karma accumulated in the past is simply working off (the subconscious is working). This is the dark power that subjugates and enslaves the other.
Surely you have met in life:
- Mothers who break the fate of their children, everywhere and everywhere entangling their fate, trying to control everything and everyone, trying to subordinate everything in their child's life to their will, because "They know better how to live ...".
- Or tyrant wives next to whom the husband is a beaten dog on a leash, which sits, lies, runs and raises its leg at the command of its mistress. In such a pair, you can immediately see who is the man in the family, who has power and who serves whom. Other.
But the point is, these are all gross manifestations of the ego, easily recognizable. And there is such a dark selfish power, which is very veiled, and outwardly you will not immediately see it, especially in yourself. When the ego has become more sophisticated, highly developed, subtle and the submission of another person's ego-power outwardly occurs very unobtrusively and accurately.
In general, the nature of the Ego, selfishness, egoist, I think many people understand. The essence of the Ego is, first of all, to “take” and not to “give”, to live at the expense of others, to use others in one's own interests, selfish motives, and so on. And it doesn't matter at all how a person externally furnishes it. It is also important to note here that an egoist is never truly satisfied and happy! Because the feeling of Happiness is given to a person by the Soul, and the Ego is not the light, but the darkened opposite of the divine Soul. Therefore, it is impossible to make a terry egoist happy !!!
How it works? If an overdeveloped female hungry ego lives and thrives in a woman's subconscious, she will energetically rip off and devour a man, downloading male energy and vitality from him, for which her ego is starving. Such a woman seeks to draw all the attention of a man onto herself, but next to her, men, as a rule, do not feel good or at least uncomfortable.
The ego, if not curbed, grows and turns into such an energy monster that lives in a person (a dark entity). This monster begins to destroy a person, his soul, everything light that is in it. And this ego monster feeds on the life energy of other people.
Here's another example. Probably heard, there are women, next to whom they die, all men die after a while. This is it! These are women with accumulated negative karma towards men. We can say that the ego of such women feeds on men, sucks life out of them, like a vampire sucks blood, and throws it out (sends it to the next world). So you need to control such things and clean your karma in time, trim your ego and give the power to your Soul, and not to egoism.
Another very common manifestation of the female Ego !!!When a woman hangs on a man, like a child on a big god. If a woman in her subconscious is inclined to deify a man, this is also a problem. Then she will strive in everything to shift the responsibility for herself and for her fate onto him, and he will replace God for her. This leads to the highest degree of affection, and therefore to the greatest fears of losing this false god (man). Attachment always gives rise to great fear, and fear produces the energy of aggression. And if a woman is mortally afraid of losing her man, she will simply frantically strive to control him in everything and limit his freedom. This is the beginning of the end of the relationship.
In order for the relationship to be happy, with the development of bright feelings for many years, a man and a woman should be equal, and God should be above them.
What to do with your hypertrophied female or male ego?
Ego is the unwillingness to “give” to oneself and the motive is only to “take” from the other what you need, this is a consumer attitude towards other people. The female ego is a consumer attitude towards men - “what can I fuck with him”, “what else has he not given me”, etc.
And men are attracted not to those women who download energy from them, drink all the juices of life and who only want to "take", but to those who are able to give, give from a pure heart their love, attention, tenderness, kindness and care, i.e. .d. And this is the key point! If her ego grows in a woman, she loses her feminine principle: the heart becomes callous, tenderness and care atrophies, kindness is replaced by claims that the man did not give her something, did not do something, always owes her, etc.
After all, the true bright feminine principle comes from the Soul, from the Feelings, and not from the selfish ego.
What to do if you find the symptoms described above in yourself? First of all, you need to sincerely determine your motives.
Woman is Love, Love is to give! Therefore, begin to determine not only what you want to receive from a man, what your requirements he must meet, but first of all with what you want to give to your potential or real beloved man! What do you want him? Do you wish him Good, Happiness, Satisfaction in the heart, success and strength? Would you like to? What do you want to convey from your heart, from your heart, to give it to your soul?
And do not be lazy, write it down in writing! If you work through this, accept with your soul, positive energy will go through you in relation to men and you will become more attractive to them.
Well, your negative karma from accumulated egoism, or ancestral karma from the female line, of course, also needs to be cleansed. But this must be done competently, with a Spiritual Healer or with a Spiritual Mentor, finding out the reasons and roots of the accumulated negative experience in your family.
According to generic karma, there can be serious esoteric things here that cannot be removed on the fly, just by desire: negative karma for love spells of men, for the destruction of families, for curses, etc. And in this case, one cannot do without a strong Spiritual Healer.
Other reasons why a woman scares men away from herself?
Another very common reason is a negative attitude towards men accumulated in a woman's mind. Negative attitudes are distorted beliefs, attitudes, and misconceptions. In other words - an inadequate attitude towards men, inadequate, negative, categorical and stereotypical perception of them, which is manifested in the well-known programs "all men are good ...", "all men are goats ... bastards ...", etc.
With such a deliberately negative subconscious (or conscious) attitude, a woman simply pushes men away from herself. Men, on the other hand, subconsciously always feel negative towards themselves and leave. Because they do not want destruction, because any negative, especially if there is a lot of it, is bound to destroy. Negative attitude towards men - begins to destroy a man as soon as he falls into the field of influence of such a woman. For most men who leave communication with such a woman, the instinct of self-preservation is simply triggered.
If in the subconscious of a woman there is a lot of negativity in relation to men, there is simply no chance of building a happy family relationship. We need to unload! Get rid of grievances and claims to men, remove excessive demands on them, remove consumer attitudes and pride, learn to perceive a man, first of all, as a divine soul, as a person, as an equal.
How to remove the negative accumulated on men?
- Get rid of grievances and claims. Resentment against men, if it lives in your heart, destroys your bright feelings, your soul, health and life, attracts troubles to fate, destroys the men around you and your relationship with him. With resentment, work on the article - Touchiness. How to get rid of resentment?
- Write down in your workbook all claims to men in general and to specific ones. Ask yourself - "Why am I offended by men?"... And then, replace all negative beliefs (answers) with adequate, positive ones, those that your bright Soul will tell you. And look at this moment at a man, as at a divine soul, which, just like you learns, goes through its lessons on Earth, may be imperfect, make mistakes, repent, etc. How to do it right - be sure to learn in the article How to work with beliefs? How to change your beliefs? Do this task in several passes.
- Form the most complete positive attitude towards men. Just write a creative essay on the topic "My Best Relationship to Men!" Write with all your heart, with your heart, as if it is not you who are writing, but your divine Soul dictates and conveys its attitude to you. Draw images in the process of writing and put your best attitude towards the most worthy men in it. Write what you respect and love worthy men, and what you wish for all men, without exception. Wish great Good, Nobility and Courage to all men! This will make you attractive to such men :)
- Write in writing, in an arbitrary form, a Prayer-repentance before the souls of all men whom you despised, did not respect, infringed upon, in relation to whom you acted unfairly, selfishly, cruelly, with pride and arrogance. Repent before the egregor of men and before God for pride and resentment towards men. How to work with your pride, see the article - How to get rid of Pride and Arrogance?
Believe me, if you sincerely in front of yourself work out your attitude towards men according to all of the above recommendations, there will definitely be positive changes!
There are certainly other reasons, karmic reasons why men run away from women. But they already need to be watched individually with a Spiritual Healer or with a Mentor. A woman may have serious debts accumulated in relation to men in past incarnations, for example, when a woman has used men for her own selfish interests for many lives in a row, and then threw them away as unnecessary. And in this life there is a karmic return, when all the men she meets use it.
Also, one cannot do without a Healer if it is ancestral debts, negative ancestral karma. When, for example, all members of the clan on the female line are blocked private life and happy relationships with men. This will be the case until the karma of the clan is cleared. And in this clan, the first (that first) one should appear who will take on such responsibility and begin to work both on his own and to cleanse the karma of the clan.
A separate large block of reasons for karmic prohibitions on personal life are violations for Feelings, a blocked spiritual heart (Atman). In my opinion, these are generally the most difficult questions and the corresponding lessons that a person goes through in the process of his evolution on Earth.
Best regards, Vasily Vasilenko
Katerina1991
Hello dear psychologists. I ask you for help.
I am 26. Young woman. I look young, about 20 years old. Very pretty. But in my personal life I have trouble.
All my relationships are as one.
Option 1 is to date a guy who, apart from sex, does not need anything from me. Although he says otherwise, it is all a lie. And usually these guys are either in love with someone. Or they have other goals in life.
Option 2 I really like a man and in just a couple of days I begin to show feelings, but he does not have such a strong love for me. It goes without saying that I am offended, I begin to demand feelings. And everything only gets worse and literally after a while the Man disappears.
Option 3 When I don't like a guy. We can communicate for a long time. But nothing comes of it anyway
It hurts me. I want to show my feelings, and not be callous and to have the same attitude towards me.
I don't understand how others build relationships.
There was a relationship once. The term is 1.5 years. For almost 5 years without a serious relationship. She didn't like the guy. I got used to it. And then she endured. T. To the attitude was bad.
I'm desperate. I want a family. Children. And here everything is so .. It seems I will never meet a man with mutual feelings
Katerina1991
Katerina1991, good afternoon. The second option - what manifestations of feelings do you expect from a guy? What should he do or what should he do?
I want to see in the guy's eyes that he likes me, I want attention, care. You watch some couples and the guy does not take his eyes off the girl. And everything turns out somehow wrong with me. It seems like I like it, but it seems that I don't. Or it disappears in a couple of days
Katerina1991, good day! I'll add a couple more questions before the psychologist appears in the topic.
You talked about a long-term relationship, but did not love, but endured. Perhaps this is an important moment when creating a new relationship, since that topic remained uncovered. Perhaps it would be appropriate to talk about those relationships: why did they not love, but endured?
Katerina1991
I started dating boyfriend T. K was just boring. I didn't even like him. But then I was already 21 years old and I wanted a relationship. He very often offended and deceived me, but I was getting used to parting very quickly. I endured. After 1.5 years, I got bored, he became indifferent to me. There is nothing for him now, he is disgusting to me as a person, he is bad.
And I wanted to add, apparently, the syndrome of a disliked child. Neither father nor brothers showed any feelings, even now, when I think about it, tears are welling up. I have never had any support or support. Could this be the case?
Katerina1991, thanks :-) anything is possible, but I would not stick labels, because they can lead away from the solution of the issue.
You say it was boring. What's under boredom? Any feeling / sensation? Can you remember?
About the family:
Are you living with them now?
What's up with mom?
What was so necessary for you to feel the love of your loved ones?
Katerina1991
Well, as it happens when everyone has guys, and you have no one to walk with, to communicate. And I want some kind of variety.
No, I left for another city. T. K there are no close relationships in the family. There are conflicts, but it is very difficult for me to put up with this, and lately the resentment against my father and brothers for the fact that they treat me not like in normal families is getting stronger and stronger.
With mom, so much so. We communicate, but not directly close. Of course, sometimes I tell you something. T. I just need to share with someone. But there is no close trusting relationship.
To feel the love of loved ones, I would like to be simply interested in whether I am alive and healthy, whether I need help. But no one like that. None of my family knows how I live now. No one is interested in what I want from life, no one supports.
And I also met a man. We stayed with him for three days. And like all the previous ones, he lost interest. When I am interested in a man, I show feelings, care. But I don’t see the answer. He was cold and unemotional in himself, and he says that he is just that. Yesterday I behaved ugly. Hysterical. He says you started showing character early. I understand. But I feel that he was becoming indifferent and it hurt and hurt me. I said we shouldn't communicate. He just agreed. It hurts me terribly. I don’t want to live. I'm tired of being discouraged in myself. And it also hurts me that my friend falls in love with almost all the guys with whom she communicates. She is constantly confessed in love. They offer to meet. And I have never had this. I'm starting to hate both her and myself. It's a pity that you can't just go and die.
Well, as it happens when everyone has guys, and you have no one to walk with, to communicate.+
And it also hurts me that my friend falls in love with almost all the guys with whom she communicates. She is constantly confessed in love. They offer to meet. And I have never had this.=? What do you think is the sum?
To feel the love of loved ones, I would like to be simply interested in whether I am alive and healthy, if I need helpAnd how was it in reality? And tell me, are you the youngest of the children?
But I feel that he was becoming indifferent and it hurt and hurt me.So your fear is?
It's a pity that you can't just go and die.What is this escape from?
Katerina1991
I have a good relationship with my friend. But in the end, I start to hate her and envy her. If I had a boyfriend, I would be very afraid to introduce her to him, I am afraid that he will like her more. It will finish me off. Moreover, I am very jealous.
I am the youngest. I live in another city. None of the men in my family ever called. Well, of course, they never wondered if everything was fine with me. Once I met a guy. And he briefly made me feel that I was under his protection. But as usual it ended quickly. Then I was worried for half a year because nothing came of it.
My fear of being unnecessary, probably not living up to expectations. To be not the kind that you can love.
I just don't want to live. No pleasure in life. I've always wanted to have a family. But every year my chances diminish. And it seems I will always be alone
Katerina1991, the last questions from me, then the psychologist will continue.
But in the end, I start to hate her and envy her.And if for a second to transfer all attention from her to you, how will this answer sound?
None of the men in my family ever called. Well, of course, they never wondered if everything was fine with me.And how do you feel?
I live in another city.So you definitely moved or is it really something else?
And he briefly made me feel that I was under his protection.Can you describe this condition?
To be not the kind that you can love.Do you really think that you have to be certain in order to be loved? And what then should you be?
Katerina1991
I don't know what you want to hear from me about your girlfriend. But if we talk about myself, then I feel flawed, offended. And I don't seem to know how to communicate with men.
I'm taking my family. I feel like a loner, not needed by anyone. Therefore, I even try not to go home now, so as not to think about it again.
I moved to another city. I'm calmer here. But when such situations happen, I get lost. I feel bad, I think I can not go through some kind of life lesson. And everything repeats itself. Stuck in this loop.
With that guy, I felt like behind a stone wall, I was calm. It seemed that now everything would be fine for me and now I had support and support. To some extent, I hardly disagree with men because I thought that they could give me something, something that I was missing. As if the child was given the candy that he wanted for so long, but before he could take a bite it was already taken away.
I don't know what kind of girls men need. It seems like a lot of girls have boyfriends. I don't think they are more perfect than me. But I can say that the guys I like are not all simple. The latter occupies a leading position, athletic, handsome, ie, it is not a problem for him to find a girl in principle. And after such men it is even more difficult. The bar is only overestimated (
Katerina1991
I do not even know what to say. I wanted to add about a friend. I somehow expressed myself too much about hatred and envy. There is more resentment. In fact, I love her.
This sadness seems to let me go. A couple more days and I will completely forget. But I don’t want it to happen again (What advice do you have on this? I can’t completely stop communicating with men
Katerina1991, of course, stopping communication with men is unlikely to bring you closer to your goal. Sadness, and resentment, and other feelings / emotions can return again as soon as you find yourself in the situation again. And running away is useless, yes, you yourself know that. And it's good that you added about love for a friend. Situations will not stop repeating themselves - they will change depending on how you behave in it. And in order to behave differently, it may make sense to look at yourself from the outside, to turn to your desires, needs, to get to know yourself real. What is the real you?
Any type of response triggers a "starting point" mechanism. If we consider the complex of an unloved child, then in a relationship with a father, when and at what age did you first feel discomfort?
How does mom communicate with her husband and her father?
Katerina1991
It seems to me that I am a real little girl who needs care and attention. And when a man appears who pays attention to me (provided that he likes it), I need a lot of attention from him. T.E. I do not let a man get used to me. Now I will definitely be afraid to open up to someone, to show myself real, because I am real scare men away. I don’t understand why I need a man? I want to be more indifferent. I don’t want to think about him when he’s not around. I am very afraid that this will all happen again. I want to be a self-sufficient person so that men think about me, and not me about them
I don't remember when I felt uncomfortable. As it always didn’t like my dad. Not that I really do not like it, but that something is not right, he is unpleasant to me. As a child, when he wanted to hug me or kiss me, I pushed him away. For some reason, the grandchildren now react to him that way. I don't even know how my mother interacted with her father. He died, and they have many children and grandchildren, no one had much attention. I don't remember exactly how they communicated. With my father, ie her husband, my mother often fought when I was little, which is why I don’t know. But then I thought it would be better to get divorced. Dad has a difficult character. He constantly grumbles and talks rudely, especially if we solve some business, for example, repairs, my mother is more silent, and I cannot remain silent, so they swore too. Because of this, I also did not want to live with them, I was tired of the fact that there was no warmth, love and affection at home. In my view, family relationships should be different
Thank you for providing such consultations, even when you just express yourself more easily.
If we take communication with the father as the starting point of the reaction mechanism, this is the refusal to embrace the father "In childhood, when he wanted to hug or kiss me, I pushed him away." Hence the trauma - to repulse men not to show them who you are and the type of reaction - addiction + desire to run away. There is a conflict of two states. Hence the question arises - “I don’t understand why I need a man?” - this is the desire to be loved, but I don’t allow myself! There is your secondary benefit here. Think, why don't you YOURSELF ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FAVORITE AND DESIRED?
What's SCARY if you ALLOW YOURSELF? What will you lose by allowing yourself to be loved? Do you love yourself? Or do you forbid yourself to love yourself too?
"I really scare men away." - what does your scaring away men look like?
A man energetically reads information from any woman subconsciously. And if you publish the information "I am not worthy of love, I do not allow" they will avoid emotional attachment.
They also read information that you are not behaving naturally - this is a signal of "betrayal" or "lies".
You are cheating on yourself, your desires, thoughts, you disguise yourself as another person. Be natural, naturalness and openness attracts others and gives peace of mind to the person (you and your interlocutor. Partner).
When personal life does not work out, each of us reacts in its own way: seeks to forget the past, switching to other men as soon as possible, or, conversely, is engaged in self-digging and looking for shortcomings in ourselves. But it often happens like this: nothing foreshadowed trouble, but here once - and without five minutes the groom ran away.
Or maybe it all ends after a few dates for you, and you have not taken the form of something serious? To create strong relationships that will grow into a family in the future, you need at least trust and confidence in your partner. And the elusive, always busy, indefinite, doubting man is not at all suitable for this. It is curious that these same men, but with other women, become reliable, domestic and loyal (with some exceptions). If you catch yourself thinking that the next candidate for the main male role in your life has escaped your hands, then perhaps he had at least one of the following reasons. Some of them you can change, others are outside the field of your action.
ru.fotolia.comSo, let's start with the most unpleasant one:
1. He already has another woman
When you meet an attractive / charismatic / successful / man of your dreams, you somehow do not want to think that he was taken over before you. By the way, it is precisely this unwillingness to believe that he already has a beloved, with whom he blows away dust particles and with whom he brings orange fresh juice to bed in the morning, makes him ignore even the sometimes obvious reserved signs. That is, you do not want to notice, but he is in no hurry to upset you. A passionate night of love, and then you can't draw it, the subscriber is temporarily unavailable. A surprised face and a mute reproach in his eyes: "I thought you understood everything." I, of course, exaggerate a little, but before making plans for a joint future, make sure that he is free.
2. He doubts that you are the best option.
Remember, in the movie "Route 60" there was a girl who was looking for her ideal sexual partner and could not stop because she was afraid that the next one would be better, but she would never know.
Perhaps he escaped from the relationship precisely in search of his ideal. But the beauty of the ideal is that it is unattainable. So he punished himself. Perhaps at the age of sixty he will understand that you were that unique, or maybe before that time he will have a heart attack due to a dissolute lifestyle. In any case, there is no place for a doubting man next to you. You will also meet someone who will not dream of another in your arms.
3. He sees another person in you
In the language of psychoanalysis, this is called transference. You may not even guess, and your words or actions will remind him of another girl who hurt him. Maybe she betrayed him, left him, went to the States for practice and married a handsome black man, or it was his unrequited love in the fifth grade. In general, it doesn't matter what kind of transfer happened to him, but it is because of him that your relationship may not last long. If he "turns on" and he decides that you will betray him in the same way as Tanya / Anya / Katya once did, then he will disappear from your radars with lightning speed. Don't worry, this usually happens in the early stages of a relationship.
4. He didn't survive the breakup with his ex-girlfriend / wife
This point partly overlaps with the previous one. The difference is that in this case it is his conscious choice - to continue living on memories and hope that everything will return. Therefore, one call from a former "drunk" can break the fragile bridge that has emerged between you after several dates. Any break in a long-term relationship must be lived through, but many men are eager to find comfort in someone's lush breasts as soon as possible. Make sure you don't become an alternate airfield or transfer point for such an unfortunate person.
5. He is afraid of serious relationships.
A man knows from childhood that responsible behavior is expected of him, but he is not always in a hurry to take on this burden. Perhaps you have come across a specimen that wants to frolic in freedom as long as possible, without becoming attached to anyone. Or he has already gone through a couple of serious relationships, is tired of the hassle and wants to live for himself. As soon as he feels that you expect more from him than he is now ready to offer you, you will be out of the way.
6. You put too much pressure on him
If you start rushing things, demanding everything at once, then do not be surprised to find out that your partner is missing. A man comes to everything gradually, and he should have at least the appearance of a choice. Patience is a lifesaver for us in the early stages of a relationship. Enjoy the romantic period when you are just getting to know each other. He will be charmed by your confidence in the situation.
7. You can do everything yourself
Of course, we have long been independent girls and we cope with all the difficulties ourselves. But it is so important for a man to understand that we need his help, protection and support. You may not even notice how from the first minutes of meeting you challenge him, making it clear that you can do everything better. The path of competition with a man is a wrong move if you want him to see you as a gentle and sweet woman, and not a rival.
8. He's your last chance.
Once a man reads in your eyes that he is your only option, and he will lose all interest in you. We need to know our own worth and work on our own self-esteem. Then the feeling that no one needs you, and the despair that all the “normal” ones are busy, will disappear. Instead, confidence will come, and men will fly to you like moths to the light.
9. His friends didn't like you
It is common for us to listen to the opinions of loved ones; it is the same for men. This rule works mostly at first. Therefore, the first impression that you make on his friends may affect the further course of events. Unfortunately, if your best friend speaks out negatively about you, he may wonder if you are the right fit for him.
10. You're insincere with him
Now I mean that you, too, can play a double game. That is, you continue to meet with one, and at the same time arrange your future with a more profitable option. The latter can accidentally see you with "almost the former" and, without saying a word, disappear from your life. So it's best to play by the rules and pay off all your past debts before starting something new.
Building a good relationship between a man and a woman is a great art that only the wise can do.
Hello dear friends! This article was written to help the beautiful half of humanity. A question from our reader with the beautiful name Love: in my relationships with men, the same situation is constantly repeated: a man disappears at the peak of a relationship, simply disappears without explanation. I understand that the problem is with me, but I do not know how to solve this problem.
I received a lot of letters of this content in my mail.
The reasons for this situation may be different, it is impossible to list them all. But there are key problems that I will talk about in this article.
In general, in the modern world, the relationship between a man and a woman is most often not the relationship of two Souls, united by pure and selfless love, but the mutually beneficial existence of the Ego of one and the other. And so, when the ego of a person, and it does not matter whether it is a man or a woman, grows to exorbitant proportions, big problems begin. In another way, it is called accumulated negative karma, moreover, a person's personal karma or ancestral karma along the female line, this is the second question.
Now I will explain in Russian)) What I have seen many times, working with this problem, when a woman complains that all men run away from her, and never comes to a serious relationship or to a wedding.
Why do men run away from me? Key reasons
I will answer first to a specific letter, then, for other possible reasons, we will go through.
One of the reasons: you have a great subconscious desire to tie a man to you and control him, this can manifest itself as fear of losing him, fear of being left alone, a desire to have him always next to you and no one else, etc.
Normal men always feel addicted and do not like it when a woman seeks to tie him up, lasso, subjugate him, her personal power. They feel it even if at the physical level you are not doing anything like that and behave very unobtrusively. But at the same time, subconsciously, a woman's desire to subjugate a man to her personal female power can be enormous.
This is the work of a developed female ego. Our Ego always strives to take power over others. The female ego is above men. The masculine is over the women. For what? The answer is simple - to use the other to realize your selfish desires, your will. So that he, a man, should serve a woman. The male ego accordingly wants women to serve him, fulfilling his desires.
How does the hypertrophied female or male Ego manifest itself? In the desire to bind to oneself, to make only “one's own”, to control all manifestations of the other, to deprive him of his freedom, to put him at the service of oneself. The female ego wants to appropriate the man for itself, to make him its own - "So that he only does what I want".
The ego is thirsty! It wants! And these desires are always personal and poorly controlled. As you know, the most important thing for an egoist is himself, this is what can be called “mine”. For a terry egoist, his personal desires are always in the first place!
Once again, I repeat, outwardly a woman can behave very modestly, not impose herself, keep herself in control, but at the same time energetically she has already thrown a thousand clamps on the man, has already tied him to her, climbed onto his head and chased him. And a man will always feel this emotional, spiritual and energetic lack of freedom, the framework into which his powerful female ego wants to drive.
Moreover, a woman also may not feel what she is doing spiritually and energetically in relation to a man. The negative karma accumulated in the past is simply working off (the subconscious is working). This is the dark power that subjugates and enslaves the other.
Surely you have met in life:
- Mothers who break the fate of their children, everywhere and everywhere entangling their fate, trying to control everything and everyone, trying to subordinate everything in their child's life to their will, because "They know better how to live ...".
- Or tyrant wives next to whom the husband is a beaten dog on a leash, which sits, lies, runs and raises its leg at the command of its mistress. In such a pair, you can immediately see who is the man in the family, who has power and who serves whom. Other.
But the point is, these are all gross manifestations of the ego, easily recognizable. And there is such a dark selfish power, which is very veiled, and outwardly you will not immediately see it, especially in yourself. When the ego has become more sophisticated, highly developed, subtle and the submission of another person's ego-power outwardly occurs very unobtrusively and accurately.
In general, the nature of the Ego, selfishness, egoist, I think many people understand. The essence of the Ego is, first of all, to “take” and not to “give”, to live at the expense of others, to use others in one's own interests, selfish motives, etc. And it doesn't matter at all how a person externally furnishes it. It is also important to note here that an egoist is never truly satisfied and happy! Because the sensation is given to a person by the Soul, and the Ego is not the light, but the darkened opposite of the divine Soul. Therefore, it is impossible to make a terry egoist happy !!!
How it works? If a woman has an overdeveloped female hungry ego living and flourishing in her subconscious, she will energetically rip off and devour a man, downloading male energy and vitality from him, for which her ego is starving. Such a woman seeks to draw all the attention of a man onto herself, but next to her, men, as a rule, do not feel good or at least uncomfortable.
The ego, if not curbed, grows and turns into such an energy monster that lives in a person (dark). This monster begins to destroy a person, his soul, everything light that is in it. And this ego monster feeds on the life energy of other people.
Here's another example. Probably heard, there are women, next to whom they die, all men die after a while. This is it! These are women with accumulated negative karma towards men. We can say that the ego of such women feeds on men, sucks life out of them, like a vampire sucks blood, and throws it out (sends it to the next world). So you need to control such things and clean your karma in time, trim your ego and give the power to your Soul, and not to egoism.
Another very common manifestation of the female Ego !!!When a woman hangs on a man, like a child on a big god. If a woman in her subconscious is inclined to deify a man, this is also a problem. Then she will strive to shift everything to him, and he will replace God for her. This leads to the highest degree of affection, and therefore to the greatest fears of losing this false god (man). Attachment always generates great, and fear produces the energy of aggression. And if a woman is mortally afraid of losing her man, she will simply frantically strive to control him in everything and limit his freedom. This is the beginning of the end of the relationship.
In order for the relationship to be happy, with the development of bright feelings for many years, a man and a woman should be equal, and God should be above them.
What to do with your hypertrophied female or male ego?
Ego is the unwillingness to “give” to oneself and the motive is only to “take” from the other what you need, this is a consumer attitude towards other people. The female ego is a consumer attitude towards men - “what can I fuck with him”, “what else has he not given me”, etc.
And men are attracted not to those women who download energy from them, drink all the juices of life and who only want to “take”, but to those who are able to give, give from a pure heart their love, attention, tenderness, kindness and care, i.e. .d. And this is the key point! If her ego grows in a woman, she loses her feminine principle: the heart becomes callous, tenderness and care atrophies, kindness is replaced by claims that the man did not give her something, did not do something, always owes her, etc.
After all, the true bright feminine principle comes from, from, and not from the selfish ego.
What to do if you find the symptoms described above in yourself? First of all, you need to sincerely determine your motives.
Woman is Love, Love is to give! Therefore, begin to determine not only what you want to receive from a man, what your requirements he must meet, but first of all with what you want to give to your potential or real beloved man! What do you want him? Do you wish him Good, Happiness, Satisfaction in the heart, success and strength? Would you like to? What do you want to convey from your heart, from your heart, to give it to your soul?
And do not be lazy, write it down in writing! If you work through this, accept with your soul, positive energy will go through you in relation to men and you will become more attractive to them.
Well, your negative karma from accumulated egoism, or ancestral karma from the female line, of course, also needs to be cleansed. But this must be done competently, with or with, finding out the reasons and roots of the accumulated negative experience in your family.
According to generic karma, there can be serious esoteric things here that cannot be removed on the fly, just by desire: negative karma for love spells of men, for the destruction of families, for curses, etc. And in this case, one cannot do without a strong Spiritual Healer.
Other reasons why a woman scares men away from herself?
Another very common reason is a negative attitude towards men accumulated in a woman's mind. Negative attitudes are distorted attitudes, misconceptions. In other words - an inadequate attitude towards men, inadequate, negative, categorical and stereotypical perception of them, which is manifested in the well-known programs “all men are good ...”, “all men are goats ..., bastards ...”, etc.
With such a deliberately negative subconscious (or conscious) attitude, a woman simply pushes men away from herself. Men, on the other hand, subconsciously always feel negative towards themselves and leave. Because they do not want destruction, because any negative, especially if there is a lot of it, is bound to destroy. Negative attitude towards men - begins to destroy a man as soon as he falls into the field of influence of such a woman. For most men who leave communication with such a woman, the instinct of self-preservation is simply triggered.
If in the subconscious of a woman there is a lot of negativity in relation to men, there is simply no chance of building a happy family relationship. We need to unload! Get rid of grievances and claims to men, remove excessive demands on them, remove consumer attitudes and pride, learn to perceive a man, first of all, as a divine soul, as a person, as an equal.
How to remove the negative accumulated on men?
- Get rid of grievances and claims. Resentment against men, if it lives in your heart, destroys your bright feelings, your soul, health and life, attracts troubles to fate, destroys the men around you and your relationship with him. With resentment, work on the article -
- Write down in your workbook all claims to men in general and to specific ones. Ask yourself - "Why am I offended by men?"... And then, replace all negative beliefs (answers) with adequate, positive ones, those that your bright Soul will tell you. And look at this moment at a man, as at a divine soul, which, just like you learns, goes through its lessons on Earth, may be imperfect, make mistakes, repent, etc. How to do it correctly - be sure to learn in the article Do this task in several passes.
- Form the most complete positive attitude towards men. Just write a creative essay on the topic “My Best Relationship to Men!”. Write with all your heart, with your heart, as if it is not you who are writing, but your divine Soul dictates and conveys its attitude to you. Draw images in the process of writing and put your best attitude towards the most worthy men in it. Write what you respect and love worthy men, and what you wish for all men, without exception. Wish great Good, Nobility and Courage to all men! This will make you attractive to such men :)
- Write in writing, in an arbitrary form, a Prayer-repentance before the souls of all men whom you despised, did not respect, infringed upon, in relation to whom you acted unfairly, selfishly, cruelly, with pride and arrogance. Repent before the egregor of men and before God for pride and resentment towards men. How to work with your pride, see the article -
Believe me, if you sincerely in front of yourself work out your attitude towards men according to all of the above recommendations, there will definitely be positive changes!
There are certainly other reasons, karmic reasons why men run away from women. But they already need to be watched individually with a Spiritual Healer or with a Mentor. A woman may have serious debts accumulated in relation to men in past incarnations, for example, when a woman has used men for her own selfish interests for many lives in a row, and then threw them away as unnecessary. And in this life there is a karmic return, when all the men she meets use it.
Also, one cannot do without a Healer if it is ancestral debts, negative ancestral karma. When, for example, all members of the clan on the female line are blocked private life and happy relationships with men. This will be the case until the karma of the clan is cleared. And in this clan, the first (that first) one should appear who will take on such responsibility and begin to work both on his own and to cleanse the karma of the clan.
A separate large block of reasons for karmic prohibitions on personal life is violation of software, a blocked spiritual heart (). In my opinion, these are generally the most difficult questions and the corresponding lessons that a person goes through in the process of his evolution on Earth.
